


but i want it anyway

by regulidae



Series: i love you like [2]
Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-18 11:17:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 24,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19333465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regulidae/pseuds/regulidae
Summary: Koga lasts a week, and it’s impressive.





	1. Chapter 1

Koga lasts a week, and it’s impressive.

Because – the way Sakuma-senpai. Apparently likes him back. The way he latched onto him like he wanted him, and touched him like he had more than kissing in mind. Or. Or fucking whatever.

Or the way senpai rested his head on Koga’s shoulder like it was the most natural thing, and not something Koga thought about once and almost blushed to death, because embarrassing bullshit. Or when he did that thing, later on, when every time they talked, the world would somehow shrink to just two of them. Though that might have been just Koga, maybe. Or the– the fucking date that was pretty much just hanging out and eating at a famires, where Koga wanted to off himself because senpai licked his fingers at some point. And also how he wanted to kiss him all the fucking time but couldn’t, and didn’t in the end, because in this area, local idol kids just loitering around after school was a common thing but still not common enough for people not to pay attention. Several times Koga had to blink back the dumb blush he could physically feel on his idiot face and pretend they’re just two unit members hanging out and talking about idol shit and not two… dudes, that are dating, on a date.

And this idiot was smiling. He did so before, and it was just as fucking irritating, it’s just that – it was different, or at least Koga felt it was. That was different from the way senpai smiled around other people, his eyes did the dumb squint thing more and the dimples were deeper, and Koga still wanted to punch him. Not even with his lips, or like – yeah, that too, but also just punching. He wanted to simultaneously punch and kiss the life out of the motherfucker.

And with the sum of these feelings, he’s sitting on a desk in an empty classroom and watching senpai stretch on another desk like he had no idea what it does to him. There’s this gross crunching sound, the hellish leech sighs with relief and flops back onto the desk, starfish style. Koga changes the hand he’s resting his head on, both because his right is getting stiff and to hide another blush. Even though the idiot’s just being an old man, so something totally not hot, there’s still something that makes Koga feel weird. Because that place below the (big, good) ear, where the jawline ends and neck begins – it’s good. Agreeable. Koga really agrees with its existence. And apparently now it also belongs to him.

 _Boyfriend_.

Koga winces horribly and hides his face in hands, and at the same time, senpai whines miserably.

“I’m truly a relict of the past”, he sighs, and Koga wants to kick his ass, “All this tiring practice and classes take a toll on my poor old bones, and sleeping in a coffin, as much as it pleases my–”

“I have a bed”, Koga blurts out, and instantly regrets it. What the fuck, Oogami, he’s going to think you’re suggesting something…!

But senpai is an idiot, and he doesn’t think. “A bed indeed, yes, I have thought of it, however! I’m not sure Mr Sagami will tolerate even more of my presence in his office.”

“The fuck”, Koga says, again, mouth working faster than his brain. Senpai looks at him, blinking, and it’s already too late to pretend he’s not trying to say what he’s trying to say. Or like, he could try, say he meant a futon, as in get yourself a futon and sleep in it, because at least it’s better than the hard coffin, or something else, but his brain does a lot of calculations very fast and the result is: too much effort.

“Like”, Koga continues, even redder than before, because it’s still a thing, him embarrassing himself because of this asshole, “in my house. You can sleep… inmyfuckinghouseokay?!”

Really smooth, dude. Congrats.

He stares at Koga for a while, with that kind of face he doesn’t understand but still wants to kiss and/or hit, then sits up and laughs a little. In this order. “Ah”, he says quietly, “Ah, doggie, that’s…”

“I’m just saying”, Koga interrupts, because that sounds suspiciously like a refusal. It’s not like Koga can’t take no for an answer, but this thing would be embarrassing, it would look like he’s that idiot who wants to live together after a stupid week of going out, and that leech is a chill dude who doesn’t see the need for that, and his chest feels tight and he doesn’t want that. “I’m just saying you don’t know shit about taking care of yourself, and– like fuck, you haven’t eaten anything yesterday besides that one rice ball I gave you, huh?!”

Senpai opens his mouth and averts his eyes at the same time, which is enough of an answer.

“See, dumbass”, Koga scoffs, but it probably doesn’t sould as scolding as it should, “You went from sleeping all the fucking day to not resting properly at all, and that’s bullshit, you know? Sleeping in wooden box without proper thermal isolation sucks, and you’re going to regret it when you’re really an old man!”

Koga hops off the desk, hoping his face is cool and _I don’t care that much_ enough, and checks the time on his phone. Five minutes left to the bell, and they both should go to class soon.

“Doggie–”

Ugh, again.

“You won’t be able to sleep in a coffin when you join an idol agency, you know that, right? It’s either dorms or flats, so either way you get a bed and live with other people, you have to get used to that!” Senpai opens his mouth again; he looks softer, almost sad this time and Koga wants him to stop. What the hell, honestly, he’s not saying anything weird, why is he making a face like that? “I’m not risking UNDEAD’s reputation just because you’re a weirdo”, he finishes, kinda bitterly, and after drawing the wrong pattern on the lock screen, shoves his phone back into his bag.

“It’s not that”, he hears, and something tugs at his uniform. Sakuma-senpai has this weird thing about playing with things, like page corners in books or the zipper of his pencil case, and one time Koga even saw him biting his hair. This time, too, he grabs the hem of Koga’s uniform blazer and his fingers subconsciously start the playing motion. His eyes don’t meet Koga’s, looking down, and it’s weird as fuck, but Koga really likes the shape of his nose seen from above. Not that he’d ever tell him that. “I would only bother you. If you’re serious, I mean–”

Just that?

“Are _you_ serious?”, Koga says, “You’ve been bothering me ever since I met you, idiot.”

Okay, not entirely true, but he’s telling him off, details aren’t important. But he doesn’t really understand, is it really all? Is senpai being… polite, for some reason? He doesn’t think Koga’s annoying? Like, of course he doesn’t, Koga’s fucking amazing and he should be kissing the ground he walks on, but… still?

He pats the tip of his nose with a finger and senpai blinks, surprised, then looks up and looks so annoyingly cute that Koga removes his finger and just swats at his head instead. Senpai frowns and grabs his hand, first by the wrist, then holds it like he was about to ask Koga for a dance. Which would be disgusting and ridiculous.

Koga shrugs.

“Just stay over once and try sleeping in a bed like a normal person”, he says. That sounds sensible, and not like he just wants to… whatever. “And if you hate it that much, go back to your coffin. I just don’t want to hear you complainin’, get it?”

And this fuck looks up from his hand – sometimes, well, maybe like two times before, so maybe it’s not entirely _sometimes_ , but he holds Koga’s hand like this and looks at it like normal people usually look at photos of their children or something – and the corners of his mouth rise.

And then Koga really has to kiss him, and they’re both late for class.

 

“I wonder if I still have shoes”, senpai says on the way to the locker room, sounding like that weird blonde chick from Harry Potter. Koga makes a questioning – and kinda annoyed, why the fuck would he not have his shoes – noise, and he explains that “Well, I haven’t left the school in a while. They’re probably covered by a thick layer of dust, maybe someone took them, thinking they’ll be a better shoe owner?” He wonders, and Koga’s guts curl with disgust. What the fuck, that wasn’t even funny. Shut up. Put these dimples back. As if anyone would steal such hugeass shoes. “Besides”, senpai turns to Koga, fixing his bag on his shoulder, and he’s smiling with only one cheek, not the one Koga can see clearly, “This is why the security is so strong now. Not because of fans sneaking in just to watch, but because of theft.”

Koga knows that; apparently they installed more cameras and guards when some dumb fans got in, wearing fake uniforms, and stole someone’s shoes and bag. He has no idea why the fuck would anyone want some shoes reeking of sweaty legs (because most of these fuckers don’t realize that foot spray exists, and Koga suffers every time they have PE), but then he’s not an idol otaku, so he just shrugs and tells senpai to put his jacket on, because it’s cold and if he gets sick, he’s sleeping on the floor.

They go grocery shopping after school, partially because Koga doesn’t really know if he has enough leftovers to make something out of them, and partially because this idiot insists on getting a gift for Leon. It’s stupid, because Leon, no matter how Koga loves him, is still a dog and would sell his soul to Rei for one spoonful of shitty heated up stir fry snuck under the table. Koga doesn’t want to spend too much and would be pretty fine with honestly whatever, but it’s kinda embarrassing, so he gets enough food for a week. And yeah, on one hand, pretending you have more cash than you do for… _for someone else_ is lame, but on the other, it was his own idea for the leech to live with him. Which, on the third hand, was also dumb and his mother would give him the judgiest look, but shut up, mom, you don’t understand. Either way, gotta take responsibility and so on, saying _Soz, I forgot to mention I can’t afford high quality food, deal with it_ would be peak bad boyfriend. Koga just hopes Yumenosaki doesn’t have a surprise school trip in the schedule or anything like that; the amount of money his parents are sending him every month is absolutely enough and he’d rather die than ask for more.

It would be also nice if the vampire lazyass paid for something once in a while, Koga thinks and instantly feels a hot wave of shame literally everywhere in his body. He kinda hates this boyfriend thing already, because Sakuma-senpai… is almost as cool as Leon. No, hell, fuck, he’s _exactly_ as cool as Leon and sometimes Koga feels as if he’s about to explode because does he know? Does he fucking know how much… _Leon-like_ he is to Koga? But on the other hand, he can’t know, because Koga has this inner need to remain even cooler. Senpai should be grateful that Koga even talks to him, and: senpai should give him at least a few thousands monthly for dealing with all shit, but also: senpai should just exist and keep on being as cool as Leon and Koga would be the happiest dude in the world.

No! No, he wouldn’t! Senpai is a dumbass, and he can fuck the fuck off!

The vampire lazyass must be a mind reader, or a really nice asshole, because he slides in front of Koga just when he’s about to pay and slams the cash on the counter faster than Koga’s able to realize what’s going on. He tells him off almost instantly, even though he panics and instead of arguing like a _normal person_ , he ends up physically saying _Hey, it’s my shit!_ to someone who’s paying for him, in front of other customers and the cashier, what the Fuck, Oogami. The menace still only pats him on the shoulder and even takes the bags.

Koga hates him.

“Why can’t I just buy you something from time to time?”, this dumbass dares to ask, attempting to fix his scarf while being covered in bags (two grocery ones and one school bag). Koga takes the bigger one and tries to take the smaller one as well, but senpai presses it to his chest like a beloved child and makes a noise of protest. Sure, get fucked.

“It’s not something, it’s a whole fucking week of groceries!”, he snaps, then swears, because his school bag is dangerously close to sliding off his shoulder. Maybe he should have leave it and the guitar home before going shopping. “Hey, fix this for me – and also it makes me indebted to you, I fuckin’ hate that”, he adds. He has to force himself not to tell senpai to _and wear your gloves, for fuck’s sake_ , because his hands are less pale and more purple and the bags’ handles pressing on the insides of his fingers aren’t helping the circulation and– why is he so dumb. Why the hell is he like this. Koga really, really hates him and why the fuck are they even dating–

No. Koga doesn’t care. The walk home is ten minutes max, senpai won’t die, his stupid hands won’t fall off, and if he’s cold and complaining when they’re back – he will be, Koga is sure of that; either openly, or he’ll rub his hands like an idiot hoping Koga will notice that, ugh – then Koga will just. Tell him to get fucked. And give him tea. And probably some hand cream, god, how can an idol have such disgustingly dry hands, is this why he insists on wearing those gloves on stage?

Turns out Koga’s slightly off, because this asshole complains two minutes after they leave the store, shifting the bags from hand to hand uncomfortably until Koga threatens him with bodily harm and/or walking very fast and leaving him here. That shuts him up, though not without some initial moans of _Leaving an elderly gentleman to die in the cold, you’re so cruuuuel, doggie!_ that make Koga want to punt him off the surface of earth.

And then they reach Koga’s house, and it gets really bad. Because: Leon is here. And while Koga is used to an overjoyed bread loaf jumping and barking at him, senpai freezes, and even though he’s met Leon before (last year – Koga remembers, because he ruffled Leon’s fur the way he loved it the most and said _What’s up, kid?_ ), he stares at him with hesitation.

“What the fuck”, Koga scoffs from the kitchen, putting his bags down on the countertop, “You know each other, just say hello like a proper human being!”

Senpai mutters something about old age changing people, but squats and extends his hand to Leon timidly. Leon sniffs once and licks his fingers; he makes the dumbest noise of surprise and talks to Leon quietly, stuff like _It’s me, do you remember?_ (Of course he does, he’s not dumb) and _Ohhh what a fluffy little darling you are_ (Scandalous, Leon is none of these!). At some point he probably keeps his palm in the same position for too long, because Leon gives him the paw and he gasps like a kid whose dream just came true. He sits on the floor, completely forgetting about dog hair sticking to his trousers, and holds Leon’s paw with two hands.

“It’s truly the cutest little paw I have ever seen”, he sniffs, “Thank you for gracing me with its softness, um, ah. Leon-kun? Doggie’s doggie? _Oogami-san_?”

No!!!

“ _IT’S A DOG!!!_ ”, Koga booms from the kitchen; Senpai probably whines something back, like about dogs still deserving to be talked to with respect, but a/ Koga’s been in this option too, initially, and then one day _Leon_ just sounded too innocent for someone who could as well be called Thunderfart, and b/ Koga’s too busy asking the broccoli what the FUCK was THAT to pay attention to whatever his fucking boyfriend is saying at the moment, dear fuck, what the SHIT, why is Leon even allowing this, or is he happy? Is he actually happy that he gets to be called– that such words as _Oogami-san_ are even uttered in reference to his loaf-shaped self? They have to talk about it later. He and Leon, man to man, about _Him_.

“Help me with this shit”, he calls, and after some sweet words muttered to Leon hurriedly, this disaster finally appears in the kitchen.

“Oh, you have a really small fridge”, he says, where most of people would say something like _oh, what a tidy kitchen!_ or _wow, you’re great at this living on your own thing!_.

“Shut up”, he says only and takes an apple out of this idiot’s hand. “And wash your dumb hands, you just came home and touched a dog, who fuckin’–”

There they are; the dimples, and shit, the teeth are here as well and no, no, the hell, that’s too much, no crinkled noses, this is a crinkled nose-free zone – so Koga slaps this nose with a box of curry sauce and utter disdain.

“Who raised you”, he mutters, unpacking the bags on his own, because the vampire, fuck, senpai is useless, and then, raising his voice, “Close the door when you’re leaving!”

He doesn’t add _because this idiot loves to chew on my socks_ as he’d rather die than slander his own family, but even when the vampire is back (and Koga wants to scream, because he clearly wiped his hands on his uniform), he personally checks if he really closed the door.

“How are you going to fit all of this in…?”

“Normally”, Koga shrugs and takes the cheese slices out of the packet. They’re individually wrapped, so he’ll just throw them wherever there’s free space. He unpacks everything that can be unpacked or punctures the bags to squeeze the air out of them, and senpai is observing him like he was some magician performing his complicated trick. He makes a small noise of surprise when Koga manages to squeeze potatoes and carrots in one container.

“What, you have servants to serve you food?”, Koga huffs, because a person should not be this amazed at basic kitchen logistics, and puts the can with the rice in the drawer. Fuck, he forgot to buy salt.

Senpai lets out a verbal ?.

“No…?”, he says with a short head tilt, “That is, of course I can cook if I have to, but if I’m at home and I happen to be hungry (so not that often, but still), the food is in the fridge anyway.” He shrugs, but only with one shoulder. “Or we can always order something.”

Koga winces. “Goddamn rich boy”, he mutters, closing the drawer, “Would you even survive on your own?”

And this idiot frowns, blinking as if Koga insulted his family three generations back. “What do you mean? I’m surviving just fine…? I see nothing wrong in just using–”

“And _I_ ”, Koga snaps, for fuck’s sake, “see a bunch of shit wrong in just sitting there and letting your parents do stuff for you, alright? You gotta learn to...”

He trails off, because he looks up and suddenly – Koga’s brain registers it belatedly, because initially he’s not even sure what he’s seeing and if it’s real – some muscle in senpai’s face twitches dangerously and something in his eyes darkens, bitter or angry – 

“’m _not letting_ –”

(oh)

– and jut as suddenly, everything vanishes in a flurry of confusion, because senpai shudders and there are at least three emotions/things happening consecutively on his face, like disgust, like that panicked, tight-lipped smile Koga has seen once in his life and never wants to see it again, and something like a fraction of some horrible sadness. Then he breathes, a bit flushed and blinking.

“Let’s calm down”, he says in that tone of voice Koga kinda hates; the one he uses when he’s fed up with the situation and wants to tell everyone to shut the fuck up (Koga knows, he used to actually do that) but can’t, because he’s got that persona of his, and so he just uses that tone of voice and smiles pointedly. Koga wants to protest, because you don’t just slither your way out of being useless in the kitchen by randomly reassembling yourself, but on the other hand, this is… something, for sure. Sorta familiar, but not entirely, and Koga wonders... 

but then, he’s not going to argue with his new (first, only) boyfriend about some stupid shit when he’s supposed to sleep over. Especially in these. Conditions. Oh god, Oogami, you absolute idiot.

“Cool”, he says, shrugging, “But I’m not letting you out of the house unless you make dinner.”

Senpai blinks, – reassembling done – groans pathetically instead of replying, and that’s good, because he’s being his dumb self again.

“Doggie, I’m old”, he moans, swaying against Koga’s shoulder to show just exactly how frail he is, but Koga dodges and he flails, trying to regain balance, “What happened to the treat the guest with respect rule?”

“Dunno what it is, an’ you’re not even a guest”, Koga snorts and elbows him in the arm – or rather forearm because of _technical reasons_ , but that’s honestly not important, “Even if you were, I wouldn’t just let you sit on your ass and do nothing anyway.” Senpai makes a face of pure misery and Koga can’t help rolling his eyes. Completely useless, just like Ricchi. What do they teach these rich kids? Speed money counting? “C’mon, unpack your shit and in a five you’re showing me how do you cut a carrot.”

Senpai mutters something about Koga being too much, everyone can cut a carrot, honestly, young people nowadays, but he doesn’t sound as convinced as he should be as a carrot cutting master. Koga doesn’t know whether to feel excited about seeing this idiot humiliate himself or cry into Leon’s ass because this idiot is nineteen.

He turns the rice cooker on and shows senpai around the flat, even though there’s not much to see aside from the kitchen; a small area with a table that could maybe be called a dining room, his room and bathroom. The vampire complains about the shower stall glass being clear, because _ughh it’s so weird seeing yourself in the mirror_ , and Koga replies with a – honestly perfect, he should write it down for next generations to laugh their asses off and marvel – line that goes like _this is what happens when you don’t exercise_ and grins when senpai makes an unimpressed (and sad, crushed just like his ego, ha) noise.

He starts out nice, cutting the carrot into bite-size pieces, but falters visibly when Koga asks for slices. Koga snorts after a few tentative tries and tells him to go back to pieces, and he huffs.

“I was hoping you would stand behind me and guide my hands, you know, like they do in romance movies”, he sighs, pressing what’s left of the uncut carrot to his chest, ugh, disgusting, Koga’s glad he gave him an apron, “But I bet you wouldn’t see over my shoulder, would you, doggie? Don’t worry, I understand, your pocket size only adds to your–”

He doesn’t finish this fucking sentence because Koga jabs him in the back.

“I’m holding a knife!”, he whines, dropping it immediately, “I could have cut my finger off!”

“You already lack so much in other areas that no one would notice, dumbass”, Koga says, and, high on yet another sick burn, kisses him.

Koga would never admit it, but the surprised noise senpai makes is worth everything, even being called pocket size. Also, it goes straight to his dick. He doesn’t even mind two cold as fuck hands on his cheeks, one even wet from the carrot, when the lips under his own are so warm and the body pressed to his is so… warm, warm as well. Koga’s fingers grasp the material of senpai’s shirt tightly, ah, should have given him a normal t-shirt, and he feels him shivering under his touch.

“Do you want to kill me?”, senpai rasps miserably after Koga plants the last chaste kiss on his lips, and again, it does fun but not exactly appreciated things to Koga’s body. Idiot. Dumbass. Worst hot boyfriend.

“Told you a bunch of times already that I do”, he grins, pats his back a little too hard to assure his dominance and leans against the counter, again, to watch the worst unexistent cooking show imaginable. Senpai is blushing and his lips are red – what the hell, it wasn’t even that much, just a few dumb kisses, but also: _holy fuck_.

Koga leaves this misery to the carrots, cuts the potatoes and onions and throws them into the pot. He thinks about doing the chicken as well, but the concept of senpai’s tortured face caused by wet, slippery meat wins and he makes him do it instead. It’s a bit disappointing, because he’s not as grossed out as Koga thought he would be and even finds cutting the meat with a sharp knife fun, so he chases him away from the counter, cleans everything up (fuck, he should have made senpai do it) and tells the vampire menace to just stir it from time to time. He uses this time to say hello to Leon properly and give him a satisfying amount of belly rubs as a compensation, but Leon seems unfazed, chilling on his bed instead. How the fuck does he manage to jump on it with his short-ass leggies, Koga has no idea.

At some point senpai pops in his room and takes a hair tie from his bag, and – Koga isn’t gay. Like, wasn’t. Not really. He wasn’t straight, too, and he never understood the fuss people made about the graceful way girls played with their hair with or some shit, but. Now he sorta gets it. The little shake of senpai’s head before he gathers his hair in one place, the fluid way his fingers move, the different curve of his hair now that it’s tied, and his pale nape. Senpai is always… annoying, but this time, it’s.

Koga clears his throat. “Watch the pot, pretty boy”, he spits, making sure it sounds angry and disgusted enough, and _pretty boy_ like an insult, and resumes scratching Leon’s neck. Senpai turns, gives him an amused look, brushes a loose strand of hair behind his ear and leaves.

Koga squeezes his eyes shut and his hand stills on Leon’s fur again. “What the fuck”, he mutters; Leon sighs with exasperation.

Ears.

Even his ears are kinda hot. That’s dumb. Ears… ears are dumb in general. The whole meaty thing is useless if there’s just the hole in your head, right? That is, it’s useful for headphones, but aside from that, ears are nothing special. Or shouldn’t be, especially such sad ears like senpai’s, ha, like he was a giant nerdy bat – but Koga remembers how senpai played with his ear last week and how his… tongue…

Koga collapses back on his bed and covers his face, absolutely not thinking about anything other than his hot, seething hate for the human being called Rei Sakuma. This piece of fuck. Absolute bitch of an asshole with all those fuckin’. Body parts, and noises and voice and everything about him was so fucking annoying and Koga just wanted him to

Koga groans into the covers. Senpai asks him from the kitchen if he’s okay, and also what did he add to the sauce because it’s quite nice.

Koga tells him to shut the fuck up, and also that it’s a family secret, so he should be thankful he has the chance to try it. The menace only giggles in reply and Koga has to punch his own thighs (quietly) to get rid of the ridiculous warmth and softness in his limbs. The fuck. Disgusting. He wants to kill this dumb bastard and kiss him and MURDER and never let him go and and and Leon baps him with a paw, bless you, dude, so he rubs his belly, lightly pats his nose to tease him and plays with him for a while, just to think about something else.

Senpai shouts that it’s _probably_ ready (Koga rolls his eyes, but also appreciates that he knows whose opinion is the most important in his house), so Koga brings Leon to the kitchen, waits a bit for the rice to get ready and prepares the portions. Senpai, of course, wails that _it’s too much, doggie!_ and they bicker a bit, because this idiot won’t get better by not eating, for fuck’s sake, but then they reach a consensus when he says he’ll get more if this portion is not enough. Koga sighs, still, because sometimes Leon eats more, but doesn’t say it.

They eat – he, senpai and Leon, out of his bowl, because Koga’s not a monster and the curry isn’t spicy, so there are no reasons against it. Leon finishes first and senpai, with the speed that dangerously resembles one of a child that grew up with a dog and way too little time to eat, ugh, mom, I have Things to do! – picks up a slice of carrot from his portion and… puts in between his lips and leans towards Leon.

Leon stops and blinks at senpai, but then probably decides not to worry about the weird eating habits of the long dude and slowly, gently picks it up from senpai’s lips. The dog-seducing fucker giggles, touching his lips, and Koga jams his spoon in his own gums.

“He didn’t even touch me!”, this fucker marvels, and like, mood, but also, the fuck, “Maybe a little with his whiskers, but still! Ah”, he brushes his hair aside again, exposing a ridiculous ear, “I do that with Non from time to time, is… that bad? I should have probably asked, I’m sorry.”

Koga doesn’t say anything, too petrified with the thought of senpai feeing a white pomeranian mouth-to-mouth, and sets his spoon to avoid further injury. It’s not like he didn’t do it with Leon before! It’s just that, the. Him. His. “Uh, yeah”, he says in the end, “What if he likes it and I have to stop eating with him because he keeps on trying to take my food? Or somethin’? But, uh, of course he didn’t touch you! He’s a well-behaved dude”, Koga finishes, glancing at Leon shortly to remind him of all the times he somehow jumped from Koga’s bed to his chair, rested his paws on the desk and helped himself to Koga’s dinner while he was in the bathroom. Behave, dude.

“Of course he is”, senpai giggles again (Koga wishes he would just shut up) and presents Leon his hand again. Leon instantly gives him the paw and they’re both mirror images of dumb adoration. “The cutest, handsomest little gentleman, right?”

“Hey”, Koga warns, because he won’t stand for patronizing his friend. But his friend already patronizes himself, completely letting go of his bread-shaped dignity and jumping at senpai, wagging his tiny tail so powerfully that his butt seems like it’s about to fall off. His tongue tries to reach senpai’s face at all costs and in the end, senpai lets him and laughs, nose crinkled and face covered with dog kisses. Something squeezes in Koga’s chest, and he clicks his tongue.

“Come on now”, he starts, moving his hand to – he doesn’t really know. What happens, though, is Leon redirecting his attention to Koga and actually attempting to jump onto his lap, so Koga sets his plate on the table and picks him up quickly. Leon rests his paws on Koga’s chest and licks his face with the same enthusiasm and Koga can’t help but snort with laughter. Dogs, dogs are the best thing to exist, the perfect combo of warm tongue and cold nose (slightly less perfect when applied to his toes in the morning), the shortness of the paws and fluffiness of the butt, and Koga squeezes the thick body and plants one loud kiss on the top of Leon’s head. Then coughs.

“Okay, dude”, he says, “That’s enough. Gotta chill. Hey!” The dude somehow doesn’t want to chill and almost vibrates out of his grasp, out of pure love and excitement. Koga’s heart softens and he rubs Leon’s sides, causing one of his back paws to kick out wildly. He almost slides down his lap, though, so Koga pats his back lightly and clicks his tongue twice. Leon twirls madly, again more energetic than necessary – so that Koga puts him down, fearing for his crazy spine – and waits for the command. He flops down a little when Koga tells him to go back to his bed, but after a short staring contest, gives up and shuffles out of the room. Stopping twice to look back at Koga, because maybe he didn’t mean it. Did he? Aw shucks. But maybe he didn’t? And so on.

Koga shakes his head, laughing, then stops. That was… a bit too much, kinda? Like fuck, he let senpai see him kiss Leon, on top of being totally that type of an owner he claimed he wasn’t, uncool and utterly in love with his dog. That was private, and now he’s going to have no life because the leech will torment him to death.

There’s a quiet amused exhale and Koga expects to hear that wheezy, low chuckle to follow, but nothing of that sort happens. He turns to look at senpai and for a really short fragment of a second he sees, or maybe a better term would be experiences – the warmest expression he’s ever seen him wear, even compared to the one he makes looking at the twins or some other first years, and having it on himself, that’s…

Koga forgets what he was supposed to say, but it doesn’t matter, because senpai looks away and brushes his hair aside again, showing an ear, except this time it’s the left and – either way Koga’s palms feel weird all of sudden, kind of itching. What the fuck, he thinks. Senpai focuses back on his plate, eating with more commitment, but his ear is still uncovered and Koga realizes that it’s slightly different from the other one. Are ears supposed to be symmetrical or not? Logically not, just like the face, but this. Is weird. Koga’s never thought about ears, because why. They were certainly a thing that existed, end of topic. But now the curve of senpai’s left ear is different, there’s a slight dip on the top, and it feels like discovering a new constellation. Not like Koga’s even done that, but it feels this important. Senpai’s ears are… big, and masculine, in a sense that they’re not round and small like Koga’s own. Both the helix and the lobes are kinda narrow, so theoretically Koga shouldn’t want to put his mouth on them. Only soft things with gentle curves and mass that would be pleasant to bite into should make you want to put it in your mouth, yeah? (Like Leon’s fucking ears, shut up.) But he does. He does so much, what the fuck.

The strand of hair senpai has brushed away finally gives up and falls back in place, and before senpai can do anything with it, Koga’s hand moves on its own.

Cool to touch, smooth. Small hairs, barely detectable, but still definitely here.

Senpai turns his head and Koga realizes his mouth is full of saliva. He swallows, and he’s hot. Sakuma-senpai looking at him so – softly, not with a goal in mind, so his face and eyes are open and unguarded – is already fucking dangerous, but senpai with his ear just there, not covered by his hair, adding to the bareness of his face, is. It’s. It’s.

Senpai smiles; not that widely, but the dimples show and he does the thing with his lips where they look fuller. Koga has to blink himself back to consciousness.

“You’re cute, doggie, you know that?”, senpai says. It sounds far gentler than it should. It should be obviously mocking, but it’s not, and instead, and instead Koga

“Shut up”, he spits, and can’t look at him anymore. “You finished”, he adds after a while, because yeah, senpai’s plate is empty.

“I’m not a child”, senpai frowns with fake concern and pouts and Koga kinda wants to die, because no one told him he would be… this gay, even for such disgusting displays of idiocy, “Though I have to admit it was really good. You’d be an excellent… cook, doggie.”

Koga rolls his eyes, picks up his plate and leaves to the kitchen, ignoring senpai’s pathetic whine of _take mine too_. Has he no hands?

The lazy fuck follows him to the kitchen and watches him do the dishes. Koga wonders if he should tell him he looks more and more like a fucking child, but decides not to and instead, only says

“I’m not washin’ your shit for you no matter how long you stare at me!”

The leech giggles. In the wheezy, breathy way, and Koga squeezes the sponge tighter.

“I’m not doing anything of this sort, my dear doggie! Just observing the way you do it so I can do it properly when it’s my turn”, he explains, or at least says it in a way that sounds like explaining, but for Koga it doesn’t make any sense. Washing the dishes is washing the dishes. Water, soap, rub rub, water, bam. Done. No complicated bullshit.

The idiot cocks his head a little like an attentive puppy when he tells him so.

“For example”, he starts, “Hibiki-kun only washes the inner side of the bowl. Shinkai-kun squeezes the sponge three times so as not to waste water, and Itsuki-kun doesn’t wash the dishes, because, as he says, wet pieces of food are disgusting beyond measure. Furthermore, he has a dishwasher.” He cocks his head to the other side, as if letting Koga know he finished the informative part of a lecture. “Something like this”, he adds normally, and shrugs a little.

“’s dumb”, Koga makes a face. “It doesn’t matter what you do as long as the dishes are clean. And they’re not clean if you only wash one side, what the fuck.”

He hums. “If your friends are quite on the floor, drinking beer through one straw and eating raw cup ramen noodles, I guess it doesn’t matter”, he says after a while, and Koga’s eyebrows must be behind his hairline, “But if it’s someone else, and you deliberately do the house chores better than they do, it’s a bit like… telling them they don’t take care of their house properly?”

Koga makes an unidentified noise. “Even more dumb”, he shrugs. “You either do it correctly or not, there’s no inbetween, the fuck.” The vampire stares at him for a second and then smiles, pressing his lips together just a tiny bit. What. “Or rather, what the fuck were you doing geting smashed with these fuckers.”

“It wasn’t me!”, he protests with a huff, “I was the only sober one, doggie, aren’t you listening?” Koga was listening and is now really skeptical, and it must be showing on his face, because the leech continues. “I’m serious! They were completely hopeless, I had no idea they could get drunk with weak sweet wine, I only got a bit light-headed.”

“Wine?”

“Okay, maybe some beer”, he winces. Makes a face. “More or less beer. And more or less wine. I got… Well, it’s not important, let’s just say I was in a mood where emptying the fridge of my parents’ alcohol seemed like a good and advantageous idea.” He reaches to play with his hair. Koga shakes his plate to get rid of the water and puts it away. “And it was! Until Itsuki-kun got sick. Then it turned amazing. Ah”, he sighs, “Embarrassing youth. Embarrassing, but if you phrase it in a certain way, it makes it sound as if you lived a crazy life! Like in the movies. They always get drunk in the movies.”

“Nah, still sounds embarrassing as fuck, if I were someone else, I’d break up with you right now”, Koga exhales a mocking laugh. “And I’m only not breaking up with you because I want to collect more blackmail material!”, he adds, because he hates misinformation.

Senpai laughs; this time it’s less wheeze and more actual voice; not as low as his usualy shitty chuuni laugh. Something higher in pitch and more natural. Warm.

“ _Or_ you could seduce the old man, wrap him ‘round your little finger and have him do whatever pleases you with no need for blackmail”, he smirks, blinking twice way too fast for it to be an accident, and Koga loses all the sentiment he had for him.

“Shut your dumb-ass mouth _I would rather die_ ”, he hisses and waves his hands, dripping some water on him. Water is apparently bad for vampires. Koga isn’t that sure, he only knows about garlic, sun, crosses and holy water, but maybe something something christian stuff. Still, this particular vampire only scrunches his idiotic nose, makes a dumb noise of fake terror and laughs more. Koga hates him. Hate fills his chest and thrums in his veins, brings red to his cheeks like war paint. There’s something he should have said, hatefully, a week ago when everything started, but somehow – senpai, and. Somehow he didn’t. And Koga doesn’t want to think about it, but it’s still here, threatening to spill out anyway.

The smile fades off the vampire’s face, but some traces of it still remain, like a vague smell of an apple cake in the room even after you ate it; and then Koga looks away.

“Actually”, the menace says, and his voice sounds less soft and sunlighty than Koga thought it would, “when do you usually take Leon-kun for a walk?”

For a second, Koga’s brain hovers above the _-kun_ with a feeling that could be described as _agony, but not that bad_ – and then he swears, because usually, he does it half an hour ago. And then he swears even more, because Leon is _not_ with them in the _kitchen_ , and that’s the worst sign there could ever be.

Koga fishes senpai’s eraser, or the sad remnants of, out of Leon’s dumb chewy-shit-obsessed maw and hisses at him furiously; the vampire idiot only sits on the floor and laughs in a way that would have been kinda cute (only kinda!) if he didn’t just throw his shit, like pencils, pens and ERASERS into his bag without any kinda container, like, y’know, A PENCIL CASE, like normal people do. Leon seems maginificently proud of himself and Koga has to tell senpai off for fluffing him up. Doing that makes the dog think he did well and he’ll try it again! But he doesn’t listen and coos something about Leon-kun being a naturally inquisitive brave boy, his little loafy wolf, oh, wait, isn’t that too much, Leon-kun? And the only reason Koga doesn’t punch the everloving fuck out of this abomination of a human being is because he’s holding his dog.

Said dog almost wags his ass off when senpai personally clips in his leash and immediately licks as much of his face as he can reach when senpai picks him up. He’s still concerned about Leon’s comfort and oh-my-is-that-okay, even though he’s given him food and as much as Koga wants to say he’s a faithful companion, that was enough for Leon to fall in bottomless pit of love with that long man with cheek holes. When Koga is locking the door, he’s still whispering dumb cutesy shit to him, like _who’s a lovely doggie? you are! you are the cutest baby puppy I have ever seen aaa! (aside from Nonnie)_ , and an elderly lady from one floor up obviously has to be coming back home from shopping right now. Koga says hello stiffly and offers to help her with the bags, but she’s far more occupied with senpai being an absolute embarrassing idiot (bowing with a dog in his hands!!!) and giggling when Koga told him to _move it already_. His face burns as he realizes she must have been thinking how well young people nowadays get along and so on, and ugh, ugh. Getting along? With _this_?

He is disgusted and stays firmly so through the whole walk, not moved in the slightest by the way senpai’s eyes twinkle when he throws a stick and Leon actually runs to fetch it, and absolutely not by how… innocent he seems, here and there, looking around with what seems like genuine interest and smiling at two other dogs they pass on their way (at the dogs, not at their owners, who in fifty percent are girls; it’s, of course, without any meaning). Koga also notices senpai looks kind of different outside. Maybe it’s the street lamps that make all colors weird in that little way Koga can’t really describe, or the mere fact he’s here with him, taking Leon on a walk and not rotting away in his damp coffin, but he seems… more real. Touchable. In the _possible to touch_ meaning, and not _making Koga want to touch him_ , obviously.

That narrow, slightly upturned nose and thin lips. They’re walking side by side and when Koga sneaks a glance sometimes, that’s what he notices first, that and a hint of a dimple. At some point dark eyelashes cast shadows on pale cheeks and for a second, Koga forgets about everything else. He’s still useless against this hellish fucker. Is this how things will look like for the rest of his life? He thinks he’s got the hang of it, and the only emotion he’ll ever produce towards him is exasperation, and then he does something (seemingly nothing at all), and Koga feels as in the ground under his feet suddenly vanished. It makes no sense, it’s the same person whose stupidity and _everything_ about him pisses him off more than anything else, but also this-- Is this how Micchan feels about that oshisan of his? He complained to Koga a few times about the dude not eating enough. Does he walk into the club room with a firm resolve to tell the fainting croissant man to eat his fucking– okay, no, that he doesn’t do for sure, but… the sudden fluttering thing. Does he get it too? Is that normal?

He can’t let go of that thought even when they’re back home and (reluctantly) doing homework. Senpai looks… he _looks_ even when he makes dumb tortured faces over his maths notebook, and Koga has real difficulties finding that bitchin’ x, not to mention drawing the graph. There’s a short test next week, he vaguely remembers, and it would be nice not to fail it like an ass, so he pressures himself into focusing. Senpai is way more interesting, still; after opening his book, he stares at the exercises for like fifteen seconds, then opens an app on his phone and copies the solving steps. His nose looks nice from all angles, and the shadows on his lips– x. X, Oogami.

At some point he realizes that the motion he barely registered in the corner of his eye – senpai’s pen moving on the paper, senpai playing with it, the pages of his notebook turning – stopped, and he decides to look up, just a little, to see what’s going on. He happens to look directly in senpai’s eyes and senpai turns his head, ears red, but realizes that maybe the position he’s in (head resting on arms folded on the table, body definitely turned towards Koga, and Koga isn’t like, a fan of body language, but) doesn’t really help either. He looks at Koga again and his lips twitch, then form a weird grimace, one that seems kinda familiar. Ah. So this is how Sakuma Rei looks like, smiling nervously, as a human, not an idol. In this case, _how_ means _really stupid_ and Koga huffs, because something in his chest stirs again and he can’t have that.

“What”, he huffs, clicking his pen angrily, and the awkward whateverthefuckitis on senpai’s face grows into a full smile.

“Nothing, doggie”, he replies, voice hoarse, then puts his stupid head on his arms again. “I’ll let myself nap for a while. Wake me up when you finish or something equally exciting happens, okay?”

And he closes his eyes.

“If you want to sleep, go on the bed at least”, Koga says and winces, because that sounds… not angry/rough enough. He doesn’t know. Kinda weird, sweet. Would Micchan say that to the croissant dude? Wait, he lives in his house. Shit. Fuck.

“I’m so flattered I could cry, dearest doggie”, senpai rasps, not opening his eyes, “But at the same time, your bed is already occupied by Leon-kun. I wouldn’t forgive myself if I bothered him.”

Koga wants to say that Leon has been sleeping with him ever since he was a dumb puppy and he’d only be bothered if senpai slept directly on top of him, but changes his mind last minute and just sighs. _Don’t complain about your back later, then_ , he thinks, but also thinks about how senpai almost definitely will, and then: thinks about himself, sighing heavily and showing great annoyance but throwing that idiot on the bed and giving him the best, and coincidentally the most painful, back massage. He doesn’t know how to do that, aside from probably squeeze here and there, but that doesn’t stop him from imagining it. He’s seen senpai half-naked before, obviously. Because they changed before their lives. So still not as often as he’d wanted. Because he wanted to do more lives, that is. But: senpai has a nice back. He’s thin, and Koga suspects it wouldn’t be so hard for him not to look like death itself if he ate and exercised more, but it’s not ugly. If anything, it makes him more familliar, like a teenager who hasn’t yet grown into his body, even though he’s the oldest (and, Koga thinks, if he wasn’t held back, Koga would only know him for one year, and all of this would have never happened). He has three beauty marks under his shoulder blade (Koga doesn’t remember which one) and if one was to connect them, it’d look like a graph of a decreasing function.

In short, he wouldn’t be opposed to the idea of touching that back.

It would have been better if they decided to do their homework in Koga’s room; Koga would take the bed, senpai the desk, and then they’d change, and Koga would be able to focus on maths without senpai distracting him. Yet there he was, thinking about these three beauty marks on his back and this little lighter one on the side of his earlobe. Koga never really focused on people’s beauty marks, hell, he probably wouldn’t know where his own were if he was asked, but senpai – a still, not talking senpai – is interesting. And from what Koga can see, he also has one mark on his wrist, just next to that little pointy bone thing. Koga wants to put his mouth to it, and for a second, he wonders if senpai isn’t awake and just pretending to be asleep, waiting for him to do something stupid like kissing him so he could laugh and tease him. Koga hoped, at least a little, that his boyfriend would at least treat him seriously, but as it turned out, the main difference between the before and after was making out and the amount of fond looks. Or _amused_ , Koga’s never sure.

He clicks his tongue and returns to the homework, and when he realizes for the nth time today that he doesn’t remember what is he supposed to do, he gets up and moves to his room. He almost feels guilty for leaving senpai there, but without him as a distraction, he’ll finish the homework in no time, wake him up and maybe wash his clothes. He winces, just thinking about it – washing his clothes – like, like a wife or something – but then, his uniform does need washing. The school only has huge washing machines that are rarely used and don’t have a drying function, so even if senpai wanted to use them, he’d have to run from the third floor to the basement, take his wet clothes and hang them... probably nowhere, because it’s too cold for hanging stuff outside.

Why the fuck is he even thinking about it now?

Ah, he shouldn’t have let senpai sleep.

Thanks to the notes he made a few days ago when he was bored, and constant checking with the back of the book, he manages to do the homework correctly and gives himself a mental pat on the back. Without senpai just being here and looking… like that, it hasn’t even been half an hour. That’s pretty much an optimal time for a nap, Koga remembers, and moves to the kitchen to wake senpai up.

He’s still resting his head on the table, so he must have fallen asleep for real. That shouldn’t surprise Koga anymore, since even a year ago senpai had an amazing ability to conk out as soon as humanly possible, often with a triumphant noise beforehand, but still. It takes Koga at least half an hour to fall asleep, and he can’t remember if it’s always been like that or if it’s– because he’s had things to think about before bed.

Koga wants to laugh. The memory from that day – when he was the dumbest fuck ever, but also did the best thing he possibly could, and kissed a sleeping senpai – is kinda foggy, but he could swear senpai looked… better. He doesn’t know how it works, but now senpai clearly looks hilarious, cheek smushed on the table and mouth open, just enough to make him look stupid as hell instead of, like, y’know. He sits on the floor next to him, slowly and quietly, and rests his head on the table, too. He’s pretty sure he looks better, though.

Pointy nose. Quiet breathing. Thick eyebrows and straight eyelashes.

Use a goddamn chapstick.


	2. Chapter 2

“Hey”, he says, and it comes out loud as fuck.

Senpai’s eyes scrunch for a second.

“Hey. Wake up. It’s still early, asshole.”

Senpai blinks his eyes open and winces, then yawns. God, he’s so ugly. Koga wants to kiss his entire ugly mug.

“But I just–”, he starts, then yawns again, and rubs his entire fucking face with his hand, like he slept for ages and not less than an hour. “’s been like five minutes”, he mutters, and Koga flushes when he realizes there’s a hint of smile in his voice. And on his lips.

“Half an hour”, he replies, forcing his voice to sound normal, normal volume and all, because whispering or making his voice smaller would be a proof that the bastard won, that he’s giving in to that weird sleepy vibe he gives off and soon they’ll be both sleeping on the floor, like they’re both useless, and not just one.

“Get the hell up”, he repeats, and remembers something. “And give me your shit, it’s all gross. You could wash your clothes more often, y’know?”

That one is kinda low, but he can’t sound all soft like that wife wanting to wash her husband’s shirts or. Whatever. Or a mother. He doesn’t know why the wife thought was first; a mother. So he’s not senpai’s mother and he can’t allow himself to sound like one, all nice and willing (is senpai’s mother nice? He sleeps at school), so of course he has to. Yeah.

Senpai blinks again, wide-eyed. “You don’t–”, he starts, but Koga doesn’t even hit him, just puts his whole palm on senpai’s face (there’s still a lot left uncovered, dumbass with a huge head). Senpai goes cross-eyed; it’s a really unnatural reaction and doesn’t make sense, but Koga snorts and removes his hand. “I only brought pajamas. Well. Clothes to sleep in”, senpai tries again, but Koga is prepared for that, and if he feels a bit shivery inside, well, it’s fucking January and he fucking can.

“I’ll get you something”, he shrugs, and rolls his eyes. Just a little, to show how annoying senpai is. “You’ll drown in it, because you’re a beanpole with no muscle, but be fuckin’ thankful, alright?”

Senpai smiles, in a way he always does when Koga shots him a good line and he feels like being a smartass. “I think you mean, my doggie”, he replies slowly, and his smile widens, “that it will be too short, because I’m clearly, _noticeably_ taller than you. Don’t worry, though!” He licks his lips and smiles even wider, stupidly satisfied. “It is precisely because of my adoration of you that I’ll ignore how short and tiny everything is, and wear it with all due respect.”

He delivers that sentence in his normal old bat way, but on the last word his voice cracks into a stupid giggle and Koga can’t help but scoff. He smacks him across the head (hard enough to hurt) and gets up. He has some loose pants somewhere, and even an oversized hoodie for when it’s really cold as fuck.

Adoration. Adoration. Of him. Of him, Koga Oogami, who is adored. Adored, like–

he doesn’t even have to press a hand to his chest to feel how stupid his heart is being right now. Disgusting.

The vampire menace follows soon, and Koga doesn’t pay him that much attention, because there are more important things, like that hoodie, where the hell is it, but he seems a bit pink and Koga exhales, unnoticeably, through his mouth.

He throws the clothes at senpai and picks some for himself, some sweatshirt with a name of some sportswear manufacturer on the front, probably from his dad, and a pair of grey loose pants, because he doesn’t plan on leaving the house and looking cool again today. Maybe save for the last walk with Leon, but it’ll be totally dark by then and also _who cares_.

He pauses for a second – hoping senpai doesn’t notice – and, like an idiot, wonders if maybe he should go change to the bathroom, even though they’ve been changing together like it’s nothing for more than a year. Hakaze, of course, has to make a show out of how disgusted he is, having to change with filthy boys, ugh, but everyone else is normal. Same body parts and such shit, and so Koga shrugs, unbuttons his shirt, forgetting about the fucking tie _again_ , tugs off the purple sweatshirt and oh holy fuck it looks so weird, Sakuma-senpai, in his room, with a shirt tangled around his head, what a dumbass, and hence, since the shirt is on his head and not somewhere else, Koga stares. At the hilariously skinny torso, the way it moves when senpai breathes and brown nipples that look even darker against pale skin, hey. Hey that’s a totally weird thought, why is he thinking about

Senpai finds his way in the shirt and Koga grapples with his own, forcing it on his head without really caring if it’s the right hole. He’s lucky and it’s not, so he spends an unreasonable amount of time finding his limbs in the shirt, hiding his face and wondering a/ if senpai _saw_ and b/ if senpai is doing the same right now. Probably not. Probably not, because he’s not an idiot. Or maybe he _is –_ both doing the same and being an idiot because he absolutely and always is an idiot what the hell Oogami _–_ because as opposed to him, Koga is totally jacked and it would be a goddamn waste not to stare.

Just to be safe, he turns around when he’s changing from his pants, hoping it doesn’t look weird. It probably does, because he’s pointing his ass at senpai, but in a situation as risky as this, ass is endlessly better than dick. Right now, everything’s safe, but who knows what happens when Koga turns around.

So he does, expecting to. Who the fuck knows. Pop such a grand one he’ll poke his own eye out? Get heart palpitations and faint on the spot, like in dumb anime? Or have any kind of emotional reaction to some skinny idiot in his own clothes, he has no idea, but it turns out it’s actually none of the above, because Koga sees all that mess – the sweatshirt pathetically loose, sleeves rolling down the second after senpai rolls them up, and pants already hanging on his hips, judging by how low the crotch is, not that Koga is staring because why the fuck would he – and snorts.

Senpai’s head snaps up, and Koga’s not sure if his expression is disturbed or offended, but he laughs anyway.

“Pathetic”, he says, grinning, and he reaches to tug senpai’s collar into a proper position. It’s sliding slightly to the left, and because the material isn’t as thick as their uniform or the UNDEAD jacket, Koga can see just how narrow senpai’s frame is. “If you ever wanted to give UNDEAD’s logo a makeover, go ahead and use a fucking skeleton because that’s what you _are_ ”, he taunts, the last word melting into a cackle, and senpai presses his lips in a fake-offended line.

“I think you’re missing a basic point of human biology, doggie”, he mutters, turning as Koga moves to see if he looks just as lanky from behind, and no, it’s not because of the ass, Koga doesn’t believe in senpai’s ass, it’s roughly on the level of Santa Claus and ogres, it’s just pure curiosity, “Because humans can’t be _only_ bones. Even if they’re as old and frail as me”, he adds, and crosses his arms elegantly as his calves touch Koga’s bed. “And it is precisely because of those muscles _that I have_ that I’m still alive and in such a… _shape_.”

“You talkin’ ‘bout your ears or what?”, Koga snorts again (he’s not sure tho. Are ears muscles?) and senpai presses his lips together again, legs shuffling. Leon opens his eyes, curled in a safe breadroll shape, and shoots them a look, but doesn’t move. Koga has no idea why he said that, but his heart is beating faster than normally. Or is it? He feels it’s somehow different. But then, his body is throbbing with excitement like a cloud of angry bees every time senpai does… anything, honestly, and he’s not sure.

“What about them”, senpai says levelly, his gaze somewhere on the floor, eyebrows raised gently. _You’re boring me, child_ , this face says. _Aaaaaaa_ , the blush adds. _Haha_ , Koga thinks.

Disgusting.

“They’re huge”, Koga grins like a playground bully and senpai opens his mouth, “And you can’t beat me up for saying that because your fucking arms” – he grabs senpai’s arm and squeezes, and it’s soft and thin like a frog leg, even though Koga has never touched one, but the general vibe is what counts, “are like fucking soba. Nerd.”

Senpai rolls his eyes, and a split second later his soba arm moves, fast and sharp. Koga’s faster, though, because it’s what he’s been waiting for, and the thought that this time he’s _better_ works like an energy drink.

Koga tugs senpai’s hand in the opposite direction and kicks in the general area of his thighs; senpai’s knees give up instantly and he falls on the bed. He rolls to face Koga almost immediately, the other arm shooting out to stop Koga’s, and they struggle for control for a while. Senpai grabs him lower, not at the wrist but halfway to the elbow and his grip is hard, and there will be a mark, Koga thinks, but he has an advantage of not being horizontal. He pushes senpai’s arm to the side again, covering his face, and uses his distraction to straddle him. Senpai tears his hand out of Koga’s grip and licks his lips. For a while they observe each other in silence, like two dogs that for some ungodly reason decided to spar seriously, waiting for the other’s move. Senpai’s chest is heaving (what the fuck, he’s so useless) and Koga’s is not, and won’t be, no matter how hard senpai stares at it.

Koga moves, lightning fast, tries to grab both of senpai’s wrists, but it turns out senpai has the same idea and their hands collide painfully. There’s even a crack and Koga winces, but feeling sad for your enemy never brings victory, so he ignores that and tries again, hands finally catching senpai’s wrists. He pins them to the pillow with one hand and rests his other elbow on senpai’s chest to stop him from thrashing, if he does. Currently he seems breathless and Koga grins, satisfied.

“What do you want from my ears”, senpai rasps, and Koga has to admit he respects the way he brings up one of his countless flaws to divert his attention from another.

“Nothing”, Koga shrugs. It feels nice, being on top of senpai, having him under him, being the one to control his range of movements this time. Koga could get used to it, and the thought of doing it more often... warms his chest. “I said they’re huge, not bad. Is this what you used as an inspiration for the bat?”

Senpai opens his mouth, but doesn’t say anything. His breathing is uneven and he’s still staring at Koga’s chest and Koga’s getting a bit. Impatient? Weirded out? _Nothing will grow there, dumb leech_.

“You’re certainly contradicting yourself a lot, doggie”, senpai sighs dramatically and looks up at Koga only for a second before averting his eyes. His cheeks are pink. _Dude_. “Plus the bat in the logo doesn’t have big ears at all”, he adds, making a face full of grandpa accusation. Grandpa accusation, or: that one mood when Koga won’t take his shit and he has to bother the twins and babble on how cold his doggie is. Ugh, Koga! That is. He’s not a fucking doggie. “They’re smaller and cute. Oh! Like yours”, he adds, eyebrows going up as if he himself was suprised by this discovery.

His hands twitch, attempting to move, but Koga’s still on his guard and squeezes his wrists together tighter. Senpai’s hands are larger, but Koga’s have more power in them and once he grabs onto something, you can’t and fucking won’t make him let go.

“Unfortunately, I’m being held captive right now”, senpai sighs again and Koga feels a sudden urge to fling him across the room, “but if, _oh, if_ my hands were free, I’d love to touch your cute little ears! Aren’t they really soft? How are they so soft? And–” Koga has enough, because his ears have always been this soft, probably the courtesy of this dumb embarrassing thing he has – that when he needs to sleep, he just has to touch his own ears. He doesn’t know why, but there’s something sleepy in ears. And this fuck here, he– he put his fucking tongue in his ear. Like it’s a legit thing he’s done, casually, slorp. Made him know god and hear colors, and probably infected him with some weird ear fetish. Like Koga’s ears are good but you don’t just put your fucking tongue in people’s ears, this is fucking private. This is an intimate place for fuck’s! Sake!

And Koga has enough, so he twists senpai’s hands until he yelps.

“Cut this shit off, I’m not a fuckin’ girl”, he snaps and squeezes even harder. Senpai winces.

“Of course not, you’re a very masculine doggie”, he breathes, that wheezy laugh escaping his lips, “And a very strong one. I’m going to have bruises, you know?”, he complains, but for some reason his flush deepens. Koga frowns; is he suddenly embarrassed he’s weaker? “What would everyone say…”, he adds quietly and probably flexes his foot, because Koga can feel his thigh muscles moving under him. Oh shit. That is.

“That you need to exercise properly, scrawny fuck?”, Koga shrugs and senpai blinks. Opens his mouth. Probably wants to say something, but Koga doesn’t care. “If it’s that frustrating, I can take care of you, y’know?”, he grins, remembering the friendly sparing sessions in junior high, and raises his hand, the one holding senpai’s wrists, and senpai’s eyes open really wide. Wrestling really is good – for realizing how weak you are, plus landing on your ass in public gives a fuck of a motivation boost. Koga isn’t sure senpai would get motivated after getting his ass handed to him, more like seriously injured, but senpai doesn’t need to know that. Koga would be merciful and go easy on him. Grind him into the ground properly, obviously, but still.

Oh, that would be good.

Senpai swallows.

“That, that– _well_ , mmy dear doggie”, he stutters, and for a while he does that thing with his eyes where he looks at everything but Koga with a panicked face of a student that desperately tries to remember the answer to a question he’s being asked. “And the– _here_ …” He stops and stares again, not at Koga’s chest but lower, then at his right arm and left arm and then he rolls his eyes like he wanted to see Koga’s hands through his own skull. “What were we talking about...?”, he pants after he probably realizes he doesn’t have x-ray vision. He flexes his leg again and Koga needs to change his position. It tickles.

“That you’re a fucking tool and I could crush you with one hand”, he supplies, adding that _I’m kinda doing it right now already_ in his head.

Senpai normally is pale as fuck, which is a great help at mainaining this whole chuuni shit, but now Koga realizes his inner forearms, and wrists as well, are even whiter. He looks almost inhuman compared to Koga’s hands next to his, with those teal veins uncomfortably clear under his skin, and Koga feels something. That maybe he’s really right, and not just boasting.

Senpai’s skin is pale everywhere but on his face (tomato). His wrists are thin and he’s like ninety percent bones, but at the same time, he manages to be a fuck to Koga despite that. Except now. Except now he isn’t. He’s not. He, is he

“Um, no, before that–”, senpai starts and Koga’s hand is rightfully tired, so he changes hands and rests one on senpai’s chest, to which senpai stirs suddenly, makes an alarmed noise and tries to free his hands again, motions so fast and unexpected that one of his wrists almost slides from under Koga’s thumb. Koga clicks his tongue and lets go of that wrist to lace their fingers together, then does the same with the other hand. He wants to grin down at senpai and say something witty that would establish his dominance, but his body kinda refuses to work with him there. There’s something, like a thick soup pooling in his guts, and he licks his dry lips, unable to move. Under him, senpai does the same and Koga realizes he’s breathing through his mouth.

Koga leans in, slowly, and – naturally, out of the purest need to sit more comfortably – moves his hips slightly to the back.

And then his dick burns, because he’s just rubbed it against senpai’s crotch.

Basically.

Even though: clothes.

However, dick burning.

Fuck³

Senpai’s just as wide-eyed as he must be, except he stares at the ceiling, or maybe into nothingness, and he’s redder than Koga thought it was possible. Koga wants to move, stand up or something, but in this situation – maybe not. Maybe he could stop breathing, just to be safe.

He kind of does, actually, as he untangles his fingers slowly. It’s not that easy, because at some point his hands have gotten sweaty. Their hands separate and Koga’s palms hover above senpai’s face for a second, stupidly, just in case he suddenly moves, but he doesn’t. His lower lip twitches and he looks up at Koga, eyes miserably wide. Holy shit. So ugly. Sometimes during lives Koga forgets senpai’s a human, when his face becomes a smooth mask, all these sexy – ew ugh ew – smiles and seductive looks, these half-lidded eyes somehow looking cool and not pathetic, and when he smiles, like for real, it’s so fucking… cute and it makes Koga’s insides do a bunch of weird things, but sometimes. Like now. Sometimes he makes dumb faces and they’re not even cute just weird and kinda ugly and Koga

it’s even worse.

He needs to get off– move, remove himself from Sakuma Rei right now, quick, so he just – his palm rests atop senpai’s chest. The plan is to get up like that, just up and then off, without much action in the southern department. But something in senpai’s chest is beating like crazy, and oh dear fuck, dude, it’s his heart. Koga looks, looks at that pink face and wide eyes, pointy nose and narrow lips, and feels as if he headed into a room with a firm resolve and forgot what he wanted to do the second he stepped into it.

So he decides to do one thing that’s proven itself to be pretty much a foolproof plan so far.

Senpai’s eyes flutter close a split second after Koga makes a move to lean towards him; his lips part when he inhales and it’s perfect for the first chaste kiss, like always. Always is too big of a word for something that started last week, but when they kiss, the first one is always a small peck on the lips, like they were two grade school kids hiding behind a tree. Maybe it’s because both of them are shit at kissing, or because Koga had no serious experience before. Stupid. It’s stupid, but it has to start like that.

And always – as Koga gathered in that week when they both discovered it’s surprisingly easy to sneak kisses when the others aren’t looking, or just pretending – eventually, within seconds, they gain confidence, like they had to learn how it works over and over again. It’s probably true. Senpai’s hands move and Koga’s brain instantly notices that, and while a minute ago he’d drop what he’s doing to immobilize him again, now he doesn’t, too occupied with warm lips, flushed cheeks and a cold pointy nose.

He’s being embraced, he realizes as one hand cradles his nape and the other slides down the line of his back. Senpai breaks the kiss and presses a soft one to Koga’s cheek, then the side of his jaw, then his earlobe. Koga swallows thickly, thighs flexing unvoluntarily. He’s being treated gently, as if he was made of glass, paper or some other substance that will crumble once you handle it with less care than it’s necessary. Sometimes senpai holds him properly, thin fingers gripping his waist or hips firmly, but sometimes, he just. Doesn’t do that. Instead, he observes, shiny eyes and quiet lips, as if he’s trying to figure out Koga’s chemical composition, or find the right words to use in an essay. Now he’s doing exactly that, looking at Koga with an unreadable expression, dry hands on his cheeks.

Koga doesn’t understand.

“Mn”, Koga says, and blinks, surprised, because that wasn’t planned. Senpai cocks his head a bit, eyes more _focused_ than _molten chocolate_ , and Koga tries again. “Hh. I.”

Well, alright.

He firmly puts his hands on senpai’s chest and gets off him, gracelessly falling to the side because a sumo-like leg lift isn’t the best thing to do when you’re straddling someone. He rolls off the bed and manages to land without damaging himself or the floor. Senpai rises up a bit, still confused, and Koga spits a hoarse _I’ll be back_ (yeah, duh), turns on his heel and promptly locks himself in the bathroom.

He turns the cool water on and washes his face, wincing, then, without turning it off, stares. At his own reflection in the mirror, at the pointlessly white tiles and a towel that smelled kinda gross yesterday (why didn’t he wash it?), as the wall near the ceiling (please don’t be moldy don’t be fucking moldy) and the tiles (in need of washing) but mostly at his reflection.

Face. Problematic. Round. Cheeks soft and shit, even though his voice already sounds like it should, so the baby fat or whatever the fuck it’s called should go away. Apparently cute. Urghhh.

Body. He tilts the mirror downwards, even though it still doesn’t help much. He’s not Kiryuu-senpai, but he’s not Ritsu either. Actually scratch that, he’s pretty jacked. He makes sure the door is locked and takes his shirt off, feeling like a complete idiot. This certainly is a torso, with like. Some muscles. Arms not that bad. And he tans nicely. He probably could be taller. No, he _should_ be, it makes no sense if someone with such a voice (Koga’s voice is good, 100% good) was below one hundred eighty, or at least one hundred seventy seven.

He looks down.

Dick: hard, and occupation: total dumbass.

He tilts the mirror back, sits on the rug and bites his hand. The water is still running, the stream weak enough that he only worries a bit about wasting it, but strong enough to make proper noise. This is so stupid. So fucking stupid.

Senpai is reserved, kinda… mellow, subdued or something. Usually. He initiates the kisses, sometimes, and kisses back when Koga does, and touches him, grabs his hand, fixes his hair or clothes, does all kinds of weird shit, just. Okay, he does a lot of shit but also. At some point he always stops, brushes Koga’s hair aside and cups his face and/or gazes at him softly, as if Koga was something pleasant but not exactly touchable, as if just a second earlier– 

Because they have like. Made out. Initially, and then later. A lot. Koga’s been a victim of a tongue in his personal ear and sometimes when senpai looks at him, he feels almost like naked. _And_ they went out on a date. Dates are the thing, yeah? So why the hell Koga still hasn’t been pushed against the wall with one clear intent? Or into an empty classroom or practice room or fuck, even that gross coffin?

It’s a thing, right? So why the fuck is senpai like this, as if he had to make sure of everything, as if Koga was some teenage girl who faints when people in a movie kiss, as if it wasn’t fucking obvious that he would. He. Would. He fucking would. Do everything, okay. Maybe most. Or.

He would do a fucking lot of things if senpai asked.

He hides his face in hands, hot and dizzy, barely stopping himself from howling.

Then why. Doesn’t. Senpai. Ask.

Koga’s not fucking ugly, okay? Or maybe he is. Maybe ‘cute’ is senpai’s code word for that. But he isn’t! He’s like, acceptable. Is it because he’s younger? But Tetsu and Kiryuu-senpai are dating too, and Koga’s not a genius when it comes to subtle relationship hints but he knows a just-got-a-sneaky-dojo-handjob look when he sees one. So the hell is it?

Or maybe. Or maybe Koga isn’t cool enough. If senpai didn’t have to repeat a year, and if he wasn’t an idol, he’d be a university student. Maybe he doesn’t dig stupid high school kids who are friends with more dogs than people. There are people… like Hakaze. He and senpai are called UNDEAD’s stars or something, as if he and Adonis were only some back dancers, and senpai only needs to pat Hakaze on the shoulder (and Hakaze only needs not to flip inside out from sheer disgust and it pisses Koga the fuck up because if only his little fans _knew_ ) to make the fans scream like something possessed them. (And the threads on twitter _ugh_ Koga hates it, it’s not like he fucking cares but if he got an one hundred yen coin for every time he saw a photo of them standing next to each other or looking at each other captioned _I SEE_ (eyes emoji) he could buy… maybe a small island) Or that croissant dude. They seem close, judging by the way he can call senpai an imbecile and only get a dimpled smile in return, as if it was the highest praise. (Like what the fuck, he’s so pretentional, why would being called an imbecile offend anyone, he thinks he’s all fancy and above everyone with his fancy ass vocabulary but he’s not, he’s fucking not) Or shit, even Kiryuu-senpai, senpai sometimes looks at him and there’s something vaguely vague in it because Kiryuu-senpai always shoots him an amused look, and sometimes jokingly threatens him with some karate practice and shit, maybe that’s what senpai likes. Lazy fucks who don’t do their job, or being insulted by snotty pricks, or. Cool beefy dudes who could beat him up to a pulp but don’t, because they have patience for his dumb ass.

Something twists in Koga’s gut and he swallows. But if he– if senpai wanted someone, he could have them. Anyone. He’s an awkward idiot, but maybe it’s only around Koga, because with others, he’s acting normally. No! Shit. The point is that if he wanted anyone else, he would have gone for them. But he chose Koga. Yeah. So that must mean something. Still–

Koga’s dick is almost soft again, but for some reason he doesn’t feel like getting up and going back to that senpai, with his face red and wet and head full of stupid shit and he laughs quietly, like a dumbass, because he is one, and slides his pants and underwear down. Jacking off on the bathroom floor, real classy and not pathetic.

He thinks about senpai, his ridiculously skinny, weak body that somehow gains insane amounts of power and grace on stage. He thinks about touching that body, _everywhere_ he wants, undressing him layer by layer as if he was some expensive snack, or no: he thinks about senpai undressing him, and his face burns both now and in the scenario, when senpai looks at _him_ like he wanted to eat him, licks his lips and then Koga’s lips too, and then other parts of his body, and

A noise slips past his lips and his hand stills on his cock; actually just how long has it been? How long has he been here, locked in the bathroom when senpai’s alone in his room? He freezes, embarrassment spreading like heat in his body, and tries to regain control of his thoughts. There’s no clock in the bathroom, because why the hell would there be one, and it might have been just a few minutes. Or half an hour. He doesn’t know.

But at this point, something rational – _rational?_ – in his head tells him, at this point there’s no difference. He’s been sitting in this dumb bathroom for a long time, and– and why would senpai care. It’s not his business. Maybe Koga’s suddenly felt a need to take a really huge dump. Or wash his face very thoroughly. The water is still running! Koga Oogami is definitely being very thorough when it comes to hygiene. Or maybe he’s using it to mask his own noises, because he’s jacking off like a madman because Sakuma-senpai is just so fucking

He scoffs quietly and picks up the pace; imagines never leaving his room in the first place, bringing their lips back together and grinding down again, and again, and taking off his shirt, because it’s really hot out there, and helping senpai with his, and tracing the lines of his collarbones with his fingers, teasing his nipples, the videos always had the nipple stuff, Koga doesn’t know why, and then lower, and then senpai’s breathing sounds just like his own breathing, and then.

He comes in his own palm, folded into himself like a fried shrimp and similarly aware of the situation; there’s been a voice, and it wasn’t a voice like _this moment in this song sounds like my mother calling me_ but a voice like a voice. Like senpai saying something and oh shit he doesn’t sound like the happiest fucker on earth.

He gets up way too fast and almost wobbles back down, tears off enough toilet paper to wrap his entire hand in it and washes his hands with water so cold that he gets goosebumps. He splashes some on his dumb face, pats it dry with a towel and yeah, definitely gross, definitely should wash it, or even throw it out.

“He jumped off the bed”, senpai whines after Koga emerges from the bathroom and it seems he pays no attention to the state Koga’s in, “Is he… is he supposed to do that?”

Koga – relieved there’s something they can both put their attention to – glares at Leon, clenched fists automatically pressed into his hips like the picture of fury. Or his angry mom. Leon reacts like he usually does, which means he doesn’t, at all, little fucker.

“He’s not”, he sighs as Leon trots off to the kitchen, “But he does anyway, because who’s gonna stop him.”

Senpai stutters.

“Nah”, Koga waves him off, “He’s a tricky one, you won’t notice he wants to jump until the very last second. Idiot’s lucky he’s got so much muscle, your toy would have fallen to her death”, he points at senpai with his chin, even though there’s no one else he could be talking to.

“Please don’t even talk about it”, senpai winces, “Though I can’t say she doesn’t try. She has a nature of an explorer”, he winces once again, just differently, and Koga snorts. The only nature Non – Nozomi – Nonzomi – is probably not how pet names work – has is the one of a stupid puppy who has to stick its button nose everywhere. “No, really. She’s even worse than Leon-kun when it comes to eating things she shouldn’t be eating.”

“Hey”, Koga starts sharply, then reconsiders. “Or nevermind. But fuck, it’s your goddamn dog, take care of her properly!”

“I know, doggie”, senpai sighs heavily, then tilts his torso a bit to the left for a bit, looking somewhere behind Koga. Ah. Leon has discovered his unbearable hunger and must be looming nearby, drilling a hole in Koga’s back with his pleading gaze. Senpai blinks and straightens up. “As much as it pains me, I can’t have her by my side at all times. And my mother doesn’t want to listen when I mention a muzzle, so…”

Koga snorts. “I don’t think there are muzzles this small. You can try nicking a thimble from that croissant dude, tho.”

Senpai huffs out a laugh, nose scrunching for a split second. Koga’s brain formulates several thoughts, and Koga’s entirety swats at them like a child swats at a randomly spotted mosquito.

“That’s almost like armor”, senpai says in that childish voice he uses to be annoying in a different way, in the _doggie look my phone screen is black, what do I do?_ or _doggie look look is this your long-lost sibling?_ way. “Nonnie, the Iron Puppy. Ah, but that’s almost like a knight’s name, I could ask Shu to make her a… oh! Shu– Shu-kun! Itsuki-kun! Makes things, and he surely could make her a little muzzle. Don’t you think he’d love her?”

“I don’t know the dude, but he really wouldn’t”, Koga winces, “As soon as she leaves a single hair in his goddamn clubroom, he’d have a stroke or something.”

Senpai lets out a small gasp of fake offense, then cocks his head and says that yeah, he probably would; then his gaze moves onto Koga, deeper, as in: looking at him, and Koga feels like… like the upper layers of his body, if such a thing was a thing, tightened.

Senpai reaches towards Koga’s face, slowly, and Koga isn’t sure, but for a second it seems like his fingers are trembling – and softly brushes a strand of his hair back. His face is calm, and he’s doing it again, making it feel like the world is just the two of them. But there’s also a certain lack of focus to his eyes, and when he opens his mouth, it’s slow, like he was still not sure of the words he wants to use.

“You look different”, he starts, finger barely brushing Koga’s cheek, “with you hair like this.”

Like what?, Koga thinks. Not washed for two days? Wet and sticking to his forehead? Maybe both, and shit, he should get a haircut, it’s been a while.

Senpai’s hand brushes Koga’s hair, fingernails grazing his scalp, and Koga shivers, though he tries hard not to show it. Can you even do that? Not show that you’re shivering? He’s pretty sure he at least grimaced, because senpai presses his lips together in a thin smile.

“And sometimes, you – you use hair gel? spray? something like that? – sometimes you make those, you know? Those two groups of hair and they look like dog ears. Just a little.” _Oh fuck I do?_ , Koga thinks just as senpai’s hands grab what must be these goddamn hair ears, and moves them gently, like Koga would move Ares’ ears as a kid. “And now your hair is longer, so you’re a floppy-eared doggie!”

Koga wants to bite his stupid hands.

“And”, senpai adds, stepping aside, and Koga already knows some bullshit is ahead, “your hair’s really nice to touch, are you sure you’re not Nonnie’s long-lost brother?”

“I wash it”, he snarls, to which senpai only makes a dumb disappointed noise, and Koga remembers something. “You should fuckin’ try it sometimes, like normally because apparently you do it in the sink in the morning, what the actual fuck, dude?!”

Senpai winces, this time kinda less fakely. “Has Narukami-kun spilled my secrets? Ah, well...”

“What goddamn _secrets_ ”, Koga spits, his voice rising at the end, “This is exactly why you look like a dirty ass raccoon!” Senpai opens his mouth and eyes, comically hurt, and Koga can’t figure out if it’s true or fake, but with that fucker, it might be both at once. “Why the fuck are you like this?! Just take care of your goddamn body, you’ve been leaving hair everywhere for like ages and you’ve never thought of doing– fuck that, I’m putting a hair mask on you!”

He grabs senpai’s (narrow, bony) shoulders and steers him towards the bathroom. Senpai makes a squeaky noise of protest, but does Koga give a fuck?

“Please don’t put a hair mask on me it won’t end well”, he whines, resisting, and Koga scoffs.

“Wha, you want natural? I can slap a whole fuckin’ egg on your dumb head, there’s still some left”, Koga grins and senpai’s noise is the unhappiest thing Koga’s ever heard since Leon realized Koga does not have the sausage anymore.

“Please do not slap anything on my body in general–” Senpai twirls around, hands grabbing Koga’s arms probably in an attempt to shove him away, but – fuck yeah – his grasp weakens almost immediately and Koga bares his teeth in another, wider grin, backing senpai to the bathroom.

It could have been more normal, but he’s going to accept that.

He pushes senpai to sit on the verge of the bathtub (he’s making a constant noise of dissatisfaction and leans back, and Koga can’t wait for him to fall in the bathtub and hurt his dumb head, and by that he means _why won’t this absolute idiot watch out_ ), picks up a jar of product from a cabinet and sets it in the sink. Then he gets his own brush and kicks senpai to sit on the loo, because it’s more accessible that way, and keeps on ignoring him, a human form of the :/ emoji. Even though it’s starting to bug him a bit, but then – senpai used to pull the same kinda bullshit when Koga wanted to get him to eat something. Even on Monday, when he got him a sandwich, he made this annoying face, like he at least killed a dude, and now today he whipped out this nonsensical thing with bothering Koga. So Koga thinks it’s probably that, and it feels wrong, somehow – as if senpai was forcing him to do something he didn’t want to do. Bullshit.

Koga taps senpai’s nose – he doesn’t know why, but it’s a good nose, and a good way to make him look up – and starts brushing. Senpai’s hair is really a goddamn mess, tangled, dry, split ends everywhere and just the first move of the brush takes at least five hairs. So he does it gently, like he was brushing Leon’s fur, petting senpai’s head after every long brush, and senpai’s shoulders relax after a while. Koga calms down too, because it’s – kinda nice, in a way, and reminds him of the times when his mom would brush his hair when he was little. He barely remembers it, and he was always displeased, because no one has ever died from not brushing their hair ughhh mom!, but… it’s cool. Domestic. Not that he’s anyting like, uh. It’s not like. He specifically wants to _have_ a domestic with senpai, he doesn’t really care, it’s just, not that bad to do something like this. It’s more normal than shouting and bickering (even though he might take part in these, just a bit).

He opens the jar and ~~applies~~ slaps some of the mask on senpai’s hair. It smells nice, almost like nothing, faint enough to handle; something something butter, and it’s mostly gone when you wash it out. Koga’s been using it often, it’s almost finished and he’ll need to get some more soon. Senpai’s hair is quite thin so when Koga applies the mask, it’s easy to see the contours of his head and Koga needs to focus on something else because ears are one thing, but thinking about someone’s fucking skull shape being neat is another level of find a hobby and maybe feel guilty about your weird ass thoughts.

Though, to be honest, when you remove Sakuma-senpai from it, it does sound kinda cool. Like, skulls.

He throws senpai a small towel and washes his hands, watching as he carefully constructs a turban on his head; if he takes a longer look at how long and smooth his neck looks right now, then senpai either doesn’t notice it or mercifully decides not to comment. Also and besides, Koga could have been just admiring how stupid senpai looked, so.

The embers inside Koga don’t know what to do with themselves, and it’s like this for the rest of the evening. Koga washes senpai’s clothes and hangs them above the bathtub. They eat some onigiri made from leftover rice with leftover chicken and watch Koga’s to watch later playlist, =: a video where a dude grooms a samoyed, Carly Rae Jepsen, at which senpai makes a noise that makes Koga want to both slam his head against the desk and lie down and never get up, and one of hitorie’s MVs, which prompts a heated discussion about music and ends in senpai making another noise, but this time it’s one of shock because _oh_ god _you haven’t seen Roselia’s soundcloud! Boy! Are you IN for a treat!_ and Koga doesn’t feel weird at all, nope, nah, nay!.

Which prompts a discussion about bands, which then smoothly melts into senpai’s quiet _awwh but sometimes I think it’s quite nice, playing in a band_.

“We played in summer”, Koga shrugs, but shrugs with emotion, because he can still remember how tingly his entire body felt, back then; and just as if he could read his mind, senpai smiles (lips pressing together in what people seem to universally agree on calling a cat smile) and admits that while performing on stage as an idol is amazing in its own way, playing as a band is somewhat unique because you’re making music personally, not just singing, and you have to be both focused and synchronized with other band members and there’s just this _something_ in it. And Koga feels – weird, because yeah, he’s happy, this is what does it for him too, and this is what fucked him up back in junior high as well, but then – this is what senpai thinks is different from being an idol, when Koga thinks, and other units seem to be a proof of it, that it’s not true. Trickstar seem to be determined to become a unit with main theme FRIENDSHIP (interesting, considering how many times, as Isara once mentioned, they fought about stupid shit and almost disbanded because of that, but hey), Akatsuki are like two dudes babying a wild child with a sword and Tsukinaga had already called the seaweed menace _mom_ like three times when Koga was close enough to hear, so think about the other times!, kinda weird considering they’re fucking–

That being said – Sakuma-senpai is a fucker, Hakaze can honestly drown and Adonis is slowly revealing his true self aka a baby brother of three sisters aka a master manipulator, but Koga would… fucking love it if they could call UNDEAD a team, like, friends or at least buddies, not just coworkers or completely different performers who just happened to be passing by the same place at the same time.

“Why do you even know how to play so many instruments”, he mutters, removing a tiny ball of material from his left sock.

Senpai hums.

“We’ve been learning violin and piano since we were big enough to lift one, Ritsu and me”, he starts, then frowns stupidly. “I mean a violin. I don’t think we’d ever be big enough to lift a piano.” Koga groans and rolls his eyes, so senpai, suspiciously satisfied, continues, “And then my parents made the mistake of letting me choose what instrument to pick at music school. They were probably thinking I’d continue piano or violin, or pick something like a cello for a new instrument (my mother really likes the cello), but isn’t a cello like a violin, just bigger?”

Koga isn’t sure.

“So I picked the drums, because I already made friends with a few drums people”, senpai grins, as if he was talking about a great prank he pulled, and it probably was something of that sort. The Sakumas must be that family that eats with silver cutlery and puts their children in these fancy ass shorts and knee-highs. “I mean, it was still jazz, so not something as disgusting as, _ugh, rock_ , but they were still _displeased_.” Senpai smiles like the knife cat. “And then, in 2009, I saved pocked money for a bit and got a guitar”, he finishes, nodding at Koga’s resting against the wall. The year being specifically mentioned makes something in Koga grows both cold and hot. He quickly does the math in his head, twice, for the good measure, and frowns.

“...No?”, he says.

“Oh yes?”, senpai replies, and smiles so wide that a, his eyes almost close on their own and b, Koga wants to kiss him, but that happens more and more often and Koga wonders if he shouldn’t just get used to it. That aside,

“ _Fuck_ ”, Koga groans and falls back on the floor, maybe dramatically, as senpai giggles like a fucker in the background.

“I wouldn’t have guessed!” Senpai stretches on the bed, head resting on his hands, cocked teasingly (Koga hates), “I thought baby doggie saw a really cool musician, or something like that!” (Koga boils with hate)

“Shut the fuck up and don’t call me that or I’ll rip your head off!”, he growls, but it only makes senpai beam like some fucking lightbulb. “...so that was your first guitar, huh”, he adds, obviously as a way to distract him. Senpai nods.

“But I think I’m more attached to the drums, so…”, he trails off, eyes shifting as if he was trying to come to some conclusion. “It would only… I mean, you–” He looks at Koga, kinda like surprised, “But you’re good at drums too”, he finally decides to say, and Koga gets a bit of a whiplash from the way senpai doesn’t seem to be in control of his own stream of consciousness. “Actually, it didn’t take you long to get good, and you were practically self-taught. You really have a natural sense of rhythm, you know?”

Senpai looks straight at him as he’s saying that, eyes still wide as if he couldn’t really believe what was coming out of his mouth, and Koga doesn’t know what to do with his gaze, then face, then his whole existence in general. He can’t recall, at least right now, senpai praising him like this – sincerely, not jokingly or sarcastically and without comparing him to a dog, and, to be honest, he’s kind of expecting him to follow up with a jab any time now.

“I’m. I’m trying, I guess”, he mumbles eventually, face hot, and risks a glance; it’s only then he realizes he fucked up. “I mean, fu-fucking obviously, I’m a fucking– fucking genius, alright.”

It’s a weak ass comeback and they both know it, but when senpai laughs, there’s no mocking in it.

“Cute”, he says, and he blinks, and then they’re two idiots, mutually flushing scarlet.

They remain so for a while, listening to the songs in a silence that feels like a pillow stuffing, until senpai remembers with an _A!_ that he has hair (yet) and the mask that’s probably already dry should be washed out at some point. So senpai goes to do so, and despite his protests ( _nnooo I want to go too!_ ), Koga takes Leon for an evening walk in the meantime.

“Good barrel, yeah, you’re a good breadloaf”. he says when they’re done, rubbing the fuck out of Leon’s general upper butt area, and opens the door to find senpai wearing shorts. And a towel on his shoulders, but generally, shorts.

Loose grey shorts (was everything senpai owned either black, grey or dark blue? save for obligatory and boring white shirts? he made it work, sorta, _but_ ) that ended mid-thigh, maybe a bit longer.

Koga doesn’t know where to look, and whether he should look at all. There’s a smooth – because he’s slouching – line of senpai’s back, soba-ish, soby? arms and then legs, at least two kilometres of them, thin but not exactly weak, possibly the only area in his body where he has at least some muscle. Everything white lice freshly boiled rice.

“Cold!”, senpai scrunches his nose, and then yelps, because Leon decides he hasn’t seen this human somen in years and takes off powerfully, jumping at his legs, leaving loving claw marks on his thighs and licking honestly whatever his tongue finds. Senpai retreats to the loo like a loser and Koga takes delight in prying the door open to tell him that if he uses the hair dryer on hot he’ll kill him, and actually, come here, I bet you can’t do it for shit, come here. Senpai’s hair is even more horrible up close and Koga goes on a little tirade, but fuck, how is he supposed not to when the split ends are longer than his life expectancy? Or something. Either way he tells that idiot off, huffs an answer when he asks why he’s so intense about hair care (he literally isn’t) and once again, a strange kind of a silence settles between them as Koga wonders just how soft he’s allowed to be.

Because it feels like discussing theoretical maths; one minute they can be well on their way to exploring each other’s tonsils (every time Koga rediscovers how, ugh, hot senpai is) only for an awkward silence to happen a stupid minute later, and it seems neither of them knows what to do. When they’re close – and even thinking about it is so embarrassing it hurts – Koga feels he’s warmer inside, pointlessly warmer inside and his head fills with stupid shit like wanting to stay like that forever, or– or he just looks at senpai and his heart and lungs melt with how fond he is of this weirdo. But now, when he’s drying senpai’s hair, set on cool, or when he’s doing the dishes or trying and failing to focus on Kunugi’s lecture, sometimes he thinks about shit. Just what are they? How close should they get, and how much should Koga trust him? Is it the junior high stories level, or preschool stories level? Should senpai know about his family, and should he ask about his?

There has to be a way to make Narukami write an advice book on dating, or shit. Or maybe not him. He’s. Peculiar. Kiryuu-senpai is less peculiar and Koga feels weird when he observes him and Tetsu. Not a bad weird, just weird. He wants to know what kind of weird it is.

And what should he do with the fact that senpai looks different without the contacts, even more real. Koga’s not an idiot, he’s not a total dumbass, he doesn’t think senpai’s the coolest person in the world, he– he’s a loser, but. It’s just people sometimes, even teasingly, treat him as if he was a rabid fan, wholeheartedly convinced Sakuma Rei is not only the highest form of being, but also indubitably flawless. So Koga doesn’t think that at all. Sakuma Rei is a loser. He’s known him for more than two seconds, he’s got proof. But somehow – somehow it feels weird, like having a fucking wolf chillin’ at your place (or an African wild dog, fuck, if senpai was a canine he’d total fucking be an African wild dog oh shit) – technically possible, feels weird for no particular reason.

Either way – his eyes are almost light brown and Koga thinks it’s dumb of him, the red eyes thing. Everyone can have red eyes. But this shit? Is _the_ shit. Would be much more captivating, or whatever. Koga doesn’t care for what’s captivating or not, these fans have shit taste and will scream at every tacky thing thrown at them as long as it’s addressed to them, but, hypothetically, if Koga was a fan, and had to choose between a Sakuma Rei with red eyes, and–

Actually, fuck everything and everyone in no particular order.

He decides senpai’s hair is almost completely dry now and sprays him with a hair thing. He looks good, now when he’s not talking, his hair’s more like dark waves of ocean than ominous tentacles of a sweaty squid, and he’s a beanpole but in a nice way. His terrible shoulders make Koga want to put his hands on them, but he doesn’t do it, because he’s not sure what exactly would he do after that. Instead, he takes a shower, and wonders if senpai brought his own shower gel, or used his.

When he enters the room, senpai’s already asleep, or at least seems to be, spread on the bed like a starfish, one hand barely touching the floor next to an abandoned comic book. Koga rolls his eyes and picks it up, and that’s when senpai’s lips stretch in a tiny smile.

“Leon-kun”, he calls, and a corgi-shaped missile gallops into the room loudly, tramples over Koga’s bare feet and jumps on the bed. Then, satisfied, walks a circle in the part of the mattress that isn’t occupied by senpai yet and flops there with an air of finality.

“Thanks”, Koga says, and senpai’s back shakes with supressed laughter.

He manages to squeeze on the bed, though, and they spend the first maybe thirty minutes trying not to laugh when Leon shuffles and moves around, looking for a good place and position to sleep in. Senpai giggles, his warm breath on Koga’s nape the only warm thing about him – Koga knows, because at some point, to make space for Leon, something ice cold pressed against his calf, and it was either senpai’s leg or a dead body he wasn’t aware of.

Honestly that’s one and the same thing, though. Haha.

Eventually, Leon seems to have found his perfect place. They wait for him to change his position, the silence between them similar to the one between two people who want for something hilarious and expected to happen – but the more they wait, the more nothing happens, and when senpai sighs, Koga feels it’s officially the end of the nightly Leon party.

(“Does he always do that?”, senpai asks at some point, when Leon wiggles in between them, slightly closer to Koga’s stomach than to senpai’s, to which Koga replies that no, usually he only needs a while to mold the mattress a bit, besides, he always sleeps by my side like this. For a second he considers sharing the story of how for the first three days of the school year Leon, unused to the bed, narrow in comparison to the one they slept in at Koga’s parents’ house, wouldn’t let him sleep for hours, but he decides not to. It’s not really that funny.)

A ghastly cold horror slides against his unsuspecting calf again.

“Dude, seriously?”, he hisses, and he can almost feel senpai making a stupidly fake pout.

“It’s January”, senpai replies, as if he was just reminding Koga that the second week of January is quite obviously the season when vampires sneak into proper citizens’ beds and give them pneumonia with their cold-ass limbs, honestly, how could Koga not remember.

“No one forced you to wear these stupid shorts”, Koga scoffs, and forces himself to lower his voice halfway, because Leon.

“Oh, are they too short?”, senpai coos, almost immediately. What follows is several seconds dense with terror and confusion on both sides.

Are they?

“You should be wearing long pants and socks if you get this fucking cold”, Koga says, “Does your stupid coffin have heating?”

“It doesn’t”, something shuffles against the sheets, meaning senpai probably shrugged, “I sleep in my uniform.”

Koga’s mind is gloriously empty after this confession, but at the same time, he feels like everything cleared out in the world.

“That explains a lot”, he says quietly, and gets another cold thing, pressed against his nape this time. There’s a nuzzle and Koga first freezes, then boils.

It is a nose.

That sniffles.

“If you tell me I stink again, I’m moving out to sleep on the doormat”, a threat is announced. “And I will freeze to death. You’ll have a dead body right in front of your door. That would make you a suspect.”

Koga, for a while, seriously considers being smarter than senpai and dashing to claim the doormat first. (Sometimes being with him really makes Koga want to be a dead body.) Or saying, _No, that would make_ you _a dumbass who sleeps on doormats_.

“No”, he says simply, tired, very tired. In fact, he yawns. “You just had a shower, and”

He turns around and presses his face into the curve of senpai’s neck, roughly and only for a second, so that senpai wouldn’t think things (Koga is thinking things, though), then turns back and slams his head on his pillow. Senpai beside him is still and silent.

“you don’t stink”, he finishes mercifully. “You used my shower gel, this shit is good.”

“M-mhm”, senpai stutters, and it’s the first time Koga hears someone stutter on a _mhm_. Something warm and heavy rests between his shoulder blades, and there comes a voice, muffled and distorted as if someone was subjecting its owner to a little bit of friendly choking:

“It is. Smells nice. Not that strong.”

“Duuude”, Koga groans, suddenly overcome with emotion (quietly, he has respect for his neighbours), “you have no idea how long it took me to pick it. Everything is scented and fuckin’ strong, there was one that _only_ wasn’t a biological weapon but it costed a leg and one lung, what the fuck, and then YOU WOULD HAVE TO BE A CENTIPEDE FOR ME NOT TO NOTICE THAT.”

A sneaky foot freezes, quite literally, mid-slide, between Koga’s calves.

“The weather report said _chilly_ ”, senpai explains, voice tiny and childish, and Koga wants to smash him. Out of the window. Or something. “And you must know, since you’re such a good doggie, polite and obedient, that the elderly are–”

“Ohmygod shutthefuckup OKAY”, Koga barks, and in a rush of instant regret, follows that up with “DUDE FUCK”, because an excited flurry of limbs descends upon his body, piercing his entire flesh prison etc with cold ass boyfriend hands. Under shirt.

“No!!! I didn’t agree on that!”, he whisper-screams, trying to set his stomach, who is a good citizen and would pay taxes if it could, free from hands as bony and cold as a first grade skeleton. The hands resist.

“You said okay! Leon-kun can confirm!”, senpai argues, and in this exact moment Leon does the unimaginable: hops off the bed and trots away to his little bed in the kitchen.

Terrified silence.

“Was this your goal”, Koga hisses, and cold fingers do a little nervous flutter on his stomach. He feels that.

“Of course not! I would never!” Senpai sounds genuinely offended, but doesn’t remove his limbs from Koga’s body. “Besides, you have to admit you were kind of–”

Even more silence, except this time it’s not terrified. He waits for senpai to pick up the thought, but instead of that, a cool hand rests flat on his stomach. Koga doesn’t hear any breathing. The hand remains in place, deep in thought, then moves to the right, fingers carefully examining the surface, then stops.

“Hwoh”, senpai says. Koga shivers, blood rushing to his heads. “Oh”, senpai says.

Dumb. Stupid. Idiotic. What the actual fuck. It’s just a fucking stomach. There are guts under that, and guts are gross.

But he feels like a stupid innocent girl, one of those fancy ass private boarding schools, whose gentleman boyfriend came over and is now ungentlemanly trying to touch her up. He feels like a dog who’s been suddenly given not one treat but thirty and doesn’t know what to do with that fact. He feels hot and dizzy all over and he’s pretty sure senpai _knows_.

“M–”, senpai says, probably about to continue with something richer in content, but Koga doesn’t let him.

“Shut _up_ ”, he hisses, face burning. The hands halt, and Koga can feel them thinking intensely before seemingly arriving at a conclusion that oh well, Koga said _shut up_ , Koga didn’t say _get out of here or else_ , we might as well happen.

The hands happen.

Koga barely stops himself from making a noise, as the hands haven’t, in the extremely short time, warmed themselves, and his muscles flex, obviously, preparing for danger.

The hands do not stop themself from making a noise. Wait. It’s not the hands.

It’s senpai who wheezes, and he does so with feeling, as much feeling as it’s humanly possible, and, after some thought, touches a few times more, patting Koga’s fucking stomach down as if checking for fuck knows what. There comes another noise, something that sounds like a whirr morphing into an _Oh my_ in the last moment.

Koga opens his mouth to finally ask what the everloving fuck is that bastard on, and then he realizes: senpai is shamelessly touching his abs. This discovery almost makes him say something offended and undeniably stupid, but he stops himself, because not only did he allow it, the whole thing wasn’t also... 

He spends some good several seconds figuring out just what exactly does this situation make him feel, and arrives at a conclusion that: fire and stupidity, which is now an emotion.

Meanwhile, the hands have gotten braver, touch curious in less scientific ways, and he might be wrong, but he could swear he’s heard senpai whisper _Okay_ or even _Oh shit_. His fingertips are light like feathers and it kinda tickles, but sadly, his head is spinning too much to care about that. Senpai is, at the moment, touching his body and making noises, some of them even sound appreciative, and both these noises and touches aren’t idol-related, he’s not being patted on the head/shoulder after nailing a choreo (because that’s not that hard (as opposed to (etc))), he’s not being kissed back after he himself decides it’s time to snog, this time it’s senpai shoving his cursed dead man hands under his shirt and maybe – no, definitely, that was a definitely – liking what he finds there, because he wants to, and because fuck, he’s a boyfriend. They’re boyfriends, who are going out, and with that comes the privilege of

The next wave of heat is so strong Koga shudders, back arching, and his thighs involuntarily press together. He probably makes a noise too. Uneasily, he realizes he’s not sure what kind of noise, though to be honest, really everything, including a microwave ping!, would have been better than a dumb moan. Which is probably what he did.

Senpai stops and verbalizes his concern, quietly, lips against Koga’s ear, something like a _Mm?_ , but with the tone of _Are you alive out there?_ and he replies, out of lack of any other option, with a juicy

“ _Fuck_ ”, to which the hands calm down a bit and go north, fingernails grazing against Koga’s ribs, fingers drawing a shaky line between his fucking pecs, up and down, and he suddenly understands, clearly, why senpai almost jumped out of his body as soon as Koga touched his chest where supposedly people have hearts. It hits him, suddenly, how much his heart is rattling against his ribs, and how senpai can feel every single beat, and he feels more naked and embarrassed than when Isara walked on him taking a shower in first year. He lets out another _fuck_ , this time muttered and muddy, and two things are pressed against his body; one, a hand on his stomach, gently, testing the soft levels of his skin, and two, a kiss right below his earlobe, lingering, as if senpai wanted to slowly fix every square centimetre of his person to Koga’s body.

Or maybe three. Ooooh _fuck_.

Koga burns either way, and at this point he’s not entirely sure if he’s in control of at least one limb of his, because suddenly his own hand is pressing against his mouth, muffling both undescribable noises and curses. Senpai kisses him on as much cheek as he can access, three times, and whispers something into his ear, probably something calming, as if Koga needed to be calmed, but he’s not sure what exactly, because he’s swearing too much to hear it. At some point senpai decides to speak up, and Koga’s presented with his voice, husky and tense, lips barely touching the tiny hairs on his own ear and sending millions of shivers down his spine, and in a move that puts shame not only on his own ass but also on four generations of the Oogami family back, his hips move on their own, buckling forward, because he’s stupid, and harder than Kunugi’s petty short tests.

And that’s when – until now, squeezing Koga’s hip – senpai’s hand slips into his pants.

The first thing Koga’s mind registers, after the initial oh shit oh _fuck_ , is that senpai’s hands have warmed up a little. That’s why Koga’s not frozen immediately, after he omits the main dish completely and opts for giving his thigh a little supportive squeeze. He hums, apparently satisfied, and lets his hand wander, petting Koga’s leg like it was a good but slighly less hairy dog.

Then, as if he’s just remembered it, wraps his hand around his cock.

Koga doesn’t make a noise. Koga’s not – he’s not sure the state he’s in allows making a noise. Does he even have a physical form? Because it doesn’t fucking seem so. It seems like he’s the outer layers of an onion, these thin and crinkly ones, peeled off and crumbled by Sakuma-senpai’s hand. That touches his dick like it was a piece of fine silk, and Koga can’t hear shit save for the roar of his own heartbeat in his ears, but senpai _breathes_ and this is. A certain. Type of breathing, and with that type of breathing he moves his hand, too fast and too tight, but it feels like his insides were liquid, like his blood vessels ceased to exist and his circulatory system is open, like he’s a fucking earthworm, so it probably means ‘good’, yes, it fucking feels good and if Koga had enough time and brain capacity he would stop and feel guilty at the fact that it would feel just as fucking good if senpai’s hand was, say, a rotary tiller, because it would be _senpai_ ’s rotary tiller, see, like this.

He slides forward on the pillow, hair falling in his eyes, biting his lips in an attempt not to make any noise and only panting heavily in consequence, and when senpai presses his own body tight against Koga’s and his teeth tug at Koga’s earlobe, something in Koga snaps and his hips buckle forward, again and again, rocking into senpai’s hand, considerably more wet than, say, five minutes ago. He groans, the bed creaks along, and senpai mutters something in his ear, something like _good boy, good boy_ and Koga vaguely feels this can’t be right, good boys don’t swear like that, do good boys fuck into their senpai’s hands like that?, but before he shares the concern with the neighbours one floor down, he comes messily and wheezingly into his stupid pajama pants, wait, no. That’s senpai’s hand. Again.

He ponders on this and many other things, silence of the room only broken by his breathing slowing down. A thumb strokes the head of his cock, fondly, like a lady stroking her husband’s hand in that one book, or maybe he’s just projecting. He doesn’t know why this comparison of all the others he could come up with, but at the same time, he barely knows his own name, also what the hell just happened. He feels like a puddle in the sun. In the warm and liquid way, not full of bacteria way. His limbs are heavy and soft, he doesn’t want to get up, ever, and he’s aware of every inch of his skin, every part of his body.

Senpai’s hand slips _out_ of his fucking trousers and Koga opens his mouth for a second, he should say something, he feels an overwhelming urge to say something, but he has no idea what, skull emptier than ever before, so he stays quiet. There’s. A lot of things. He’s been _touched_. Logically it’s correct, but somehow it means much more. Senpai... just got him off. And kissed him and called him a good boy and Koga has no idea why but there was something weird and hot about it, Koga doesn’t know, Koga’s light-headed and still hard and fuck, still horny. It’s like someone gave him some, fuck, fried chicken of sex and it was good, and he was like _oh nice, didn’t even know this shit existed, I want thirty seven_. If someone asked him about what he wanted, he would say to do this for at least four hours, and then, after some thought, for tomorrow slash today not to be a school day so I could do this for at least four hours and then pass out, and then do it again.

Senpai. Senpai. Sakuma-senpai. Him and only him.

Koga has no brain. Ping, it’s gone.

He sits up clumsily and reaches for the nightstand lamp, a shitty little thing that’s barely standing, but still good enough to help him fish out the contours of the room, senpai’s pale face– no.

He’s got a crumpled up tissue in his hands and his head is bowed slightly, but Koga can still see – that his face isn’t pale at all, his cheeks furiously pink, eyes wide and full of light when he looks at Koga, lips, his hair messy, his eyebrows and shoulders and watercoloury shadows on his neck.

It’s as if all the air is being knocked out of his lungs. Senpai looks away, blinking rapidly, and his face is swallowed by a shadow, but Koga– ‘s chest hurts. His skin is tingling, like he was on fire. His mind is swimming, he wants. Wants. Wants.

“You”, he says, and it comes out like an ancient frog’s last croak before it, well, “You now. Come here. _Come here_.”

The last one sounds squeaky and weak, because in the last second, because he wants, he must have, or he’ll die, but he also thinks: what if it’s too much? What if senpai looks at him like he was eight years old and challenging him to a fist fight, what if he laughs at him and says that kids should go to sleep. Instead, senpai just stares at him, mouth slightly agape and stupid, and then slowly lowers himself on the mattress, like an inflatable castle after the party is over. It would be hilarious if Koga wasn’t hard.

“Dude, not here, I’m fuckin’– right-handed, y’know”, he scoffs and forces senpai’s sad body to roll over. Then he attempts to get behind him, which involves straddling and is a tactical mistake, but he makes use of it and kisses him, hands wandering. Senpai makes a small noise. Koga tugs his shirt up, exposing his pathetic and hot chest, and he makes the noise again, but harder. Koga breaks the kiss and looks at him, and has no idea how could anyone find stage Sakuma Rei beautiful.

He wraps his arms around senpai’s anemic waist just in time to feel his muscles move as he reaches to flick the light off. He shuts his eyes close to get used to the dark and presses his nose into senpai’s nape, inhaling. Senpai shudders and makes another noise, aborted and weak.

He lets his hands wander on, and finds out that while senpai’s chest is warm, his stomach is almost cold, and that the noises don’t stop, but get more creative. They’re nothing like the ones girls in porn vids would make, high and squeaky and, in Koga’s humble opinion, entirely forced. Senpai is already breathing sorta heavy, and any other sounds he clearly couldn’t help making, even though he just as clearly tried not to. It was… right next to the shoulders, eyes and hair, and it was making Koga both want to wrap himself around senpai and never let go, and crazy, one dead brain cell after another.

There’s some fucking piece of cloth separating Koga from a Leg, so he pulls a senpai and accesses the leg via sticking his hand in senpai’s shorts. There’s a gasp, a hard and sharp hip and then finally thigh, and Koga gives it a heartful squeeze, then another, because it’s a good fucking limb, then moves his hand lower, where the thigh meets the knee, and then back higher, almost where the ass begins, and then senpai says fuck and slides his shorts down.

Like literally. Not metaphorically. You can metaphorically say fuck by feeling you have enough of the situation and will no longer tolerate it. Senpai probably did that, but also he didn’t. He said fuck with his own physical lips, moved his physical hand and Pushed. His. Loose grey shorts. Down his motherfucking thighs. Physical.

Ok.

Ok! What the fuck!

Koga’s brain physically short-circuits, the last standing brain cell refuses to cooperate and perishes by its own sword, Koga’s brain does ping! like a helpful microwave, light goes out in his eyes and he’s fucking _out_ in general, too.

And then he says fuck as well, with his own mouth, and descends upon senpai like a dumb horny bitch, which he is. There’s senpai’s warm cheek and cold nose, Koga knows because he initially gets that nose shoved into his cheek and the noise senpai makes isn’t one of pleasure for once, and then finally his lips and mouth and this time there’s only one chaste kiss before his mouth opens with a moan. He’s more eager than ever before and Koga manages to think that he really, really, really likes his tongue before his brain short-circuits once again. He sits up, a string of saliva cooling down on his chin; senpai takes a break in panting to swallow wetly and Koga groans internally. Then he decides to take his revenge and dive in head first, as in: descends again, kiss aiming at senpai’s neck and finding his jaw, which, also nice!, as his hand travels south and finds a fucking nipple, like in porn vids. But also in biology, because people usually have nipples somewhere. The stupid act of finding results in a hiss, and when he rubs it, senpai shudders and groans, externally. Koga tries it out with the other one and it works just as well, so he transports his kisses lower and okay that was a yelp. A hot yelp and a hot leg kick god fucking bless Leon for leaving because he’d be deep in Hokkaido.

“Shut up”, Koga hisses, breathing on senpai’s chest, “I have neighbours, you know?!”

Senpai verbalizes something that sounds like a start of an angry sentence, but cuts it off and replies with a simple “No” and doesn’t specify if he’s addressing the first or the second sentence. At the same time, he wraps his arms around Koga as much as he can, petting his back through the shirt like they were tenderly cuddling and not like, yeah.

Koga huffs, exasperated to the core, and kisses him again, offering his lower lip as something senpai could focus on; he gladly does, and if that wasn’t enough to get a bunch of shivers running down Koga’s spine, senpai’s hands join in, grazing his back. Oh, alright, okay.

He tries to deattach himself from senpai’s person with a clear objective of sitting on his thighs and paying attention to his fucking dick, as he should have done earlier, like a normal person, in mind – but senpai seems to have the wrong idea and tugs him even closer, kisses more feverishly. So for a while Koga forgets, both the objective and his own name, vaguely existing in a shallow pool of _nice nice fucking nice_ that consists of _this_ , senpai’s body under his own, senpai’s lips and tongue and hands and his noises growing in intensity and frequency, until senpai’s body shudders and he breaks the kiss to gasp for air, at which point Koga says fuck both internally, externally and deep down in his heart.

He suddenly understands why senpai abandoned his fucking pants so easily. He would, too, in that situation, and the situation is as follows: wet as an incredible fuck. It’s the wettest cock Koga has even touched and even considering that the other cocks include his own and that’s it, he – he needs to rest. He needs to sit down, close his eyes take some breaths and think about life and no he fucking doesn’t, he needs to touch and have and even when he’s not doing anything senpai groans, something shuffles so he’s probably also grasping at the sheets. Koga’s hand moves mechanically, up and down – it’s very quick and easy – and he feels hot all over, because it’s a good cock, a really good one, hot and wet and so hard that it’s both admirable and flattering, and Koga’s dick exists, it’s a thing that just is but senpai’s is amazing, incredible, out of this world and Koga wants to touch it more, with both hands, wants to take it in his mouth and familiarize it with his entire fucking body. Senpai groans, low and animalistic, and it does something to Koga’s insides, so he lurches forward and licks into his mouth insistently. Senpai holds him close, fingers running through his hair, kisses back and gasps moans and shudders and Koga wants to have significantly more limbs. To touch more and better and to make him like this, but more, even though just like this is enough to make Koga crazy.

“Fuck”, he growls, and because he feels his voice breaking, feels something horrible, like _senpa_ i, about to follow, because he’s dizzy and he’s not even the one getting the handjob, senpai just _fucking is_ like that, and – because of that, he adds quickly, “Fuck you”.

Senpai makes a noise, almost a whine but not exactly, head falling back on the pillow. Koga kisses the assumed white of his throat, nips at the skin (a noise, choked) and resurrects a brain cell in the last moment not to suck a mark there, even though he _wants_ , he wants to leave marks all over senpai and his white everything. Instead he licks a slow line across his neck, up to his jaw, and then moves to his ear, which – is good, soft, cool under his tongue and his hand speeds up, tightens. For a moment he’s _aware_ , of senpai’s quick shallow breathing, of the wet and sticky noise of his hand sliding against senpai’s cock, of his own dick hard like what the fuck, and then he hears his name, a wheeze turning into a moan at the last syllable, and he only doesn’t stop moving his hand because he’s too stupefied for it.

To recap: Sakuma-senpai says _Koga_ and then comes. In this order. Physically.

Koga, in turn, doesn’t know what to say. Senpai’s breathing heavily, swallows roughly and probably rubs a hand over his face, judging by the tiny noises he makes without even knowing. He sounds a bit like they’ve just finished going through a choreo, or that one time their classes had a joint PE class and the teacher thought a pleasant match of basketball would be a good thing, and halfway through this good thing senpai was on the floor, sweaty and dying and, now that Koga thinks about it, this is a bad association and knowing his luck and such shit he’ll pop a boner every time senpai gets his ass handed to him by any kind of physical activity more complicated than standing up. He exists for a while in deep silence, overcome with thoughts and his own hand still on senpai’s cock.

He doesn’t know what to say. _Cool that you remember my name? Let’s hope I’m still allowed to live here in the morning? Let’s not hope for anything and do this thing again over and over until we die because I just discovered that_ this is how I wanna go _?_

A hand reaches for him in the dark, fingertips blindly touching his cheek and he leans into a kiss, tired and slow, chaste again, and hears his name once again, in a breath, but it’s in a breath, so maybe he’s imagining it.

He turns on the light.

Senpai winces, eyes closed, and blinks them back open after a second, and it’s only because of this that Koga gets to look at him before he produces an alarmed whirr and sits up; his cheeks and even neck are rosy, lips swollen, skin glistening slightly from sweat, torso stained with his own spunk. Cock not yet soft.

Yeah, _fuck_.

So senpai sits up quickly, and naturally wavers because he’s and idiot and shouldn’t do that, while Koga sits and tries to comprehend the situation. Fails.

Senpai blinks, eyes wide, stupid and sparkling, and Koga comprehends at least him, in stages – eyes – face – torso – existence – and a jolt of pain that’s not exactly physical rushes through his chest.

When he tries to speak, it comes out weak and breathless.

“I’ll– I’ll”, he says, and Sakuma-senpai and his pale hand holding his shirt up and his unfocused but focused eyes and his hips his legs his everything, “I’ll get. Back. Be back”, he blurts and bolts to the bathroom for the second time in less than six hours. Bangs his toe against the leg of the bed, bangs his tibia against the edge of the bathtub, gets off without turning the water on. Flops down on the bathroom floor. Probably disgusting. Definitely disgusting. He closes his eyes for a second and blinks back to consciousness just before his body pulls a prank on him and makes him conk out in the loo, then scrambles up to his feet (wavers, an idiot) and washes his hands, wets a towel, wipes his hands in his shirt.

When he’s back, Leon is already lurking around the door and senpai’s torso is already clean, but he gives him the towel anyway and digs in the drawer for some pants. Some higher-up at Yumenosaki must have a jersey kink and in this situation it’s good, because Koga has enough pants to wear on every limb, ears included; he throws senpai the circus thing reds and keeps the Halloween ones for himself, and they change in deep silence and even deeper shame. Leon, ignorant to the concept of both, jumps on the bed, finds himself a cozy space to chill and yawns with an insensitive _hwah_ at the end. What the hell, dude. You should read the atmosphere.

Senpai gets up and goes to the bathroom next, fixing his pants in the process and Koga feels his brain leftovers vibrate. These were older, and not as loose as the other pairs Koga had. If…

Okay no that’s too much you’re really not a mother dude, Koga decides quickly and flops face down on th pillow. Tomorrow is still a school day and as much as he’d love to either sleep or… sleep, for at least four years, it’s not a thing, and he should also wake up even earlier to make sure senpai _does_ get out of the bed. Senpai had mentioned at some point that sadly! oh how fucking sadly he has to go to bed and get up like a proper citizen now, but Koga’s not sure just how true it is.

He doesn’t get to get all nice and toasty because Leon, as if someone paid him to be a nuisance from hell (Koga suspects the grandma from today), fires a bomb so horrible that he has to open the window or the neighbours find their cold dead bodies in a month. He attempts to guilt Leon into leaving, but the bastard natually doesn’t give a damn and he has to deal by pressing his face into the cool material of the pillow. Senpai comes back and immediately emits a whine, and when Koga turns to look at him, he notices that yes, long pants, but also a t-shirt.

“Why did you _open_ it”, he complains, sliding under the covers and rolling into a safe ball. A horrible thought – _you’d be warmer if you just moved closed_ – runs through Koga’s head.

“Leon farted”, he replies, way too forcefully than necessary. Senpai shuffles, making sure no cold air can get under the covers and attack his fragile idiot body.

“It’s very rude to put blame on others”, he states, and Koga wordlessly punches him in the shoulder. He’s considered doing something else, but it’s always a good time to punch Sakuma Rei. Who snorts, loud and stupid, and Koga feels pain in his chest again. _You’re so sweet I got a fucking heartburn_ , he thinks, then tenses and tries really hard not to think about this thought, just in case senpai could read minds. It sounds weirdly too much like out of an old ass love song his mom would jam out to, even though, if said with enough hate – Koga has a lot of hate in himself – it could be an insult. People say that _children_ are sweet. Or animals. Or these girls who act like they’re fucking dumb and can’t do shit. So senpai is sweet like that, and – he’s dumb. He’s fucking dumb and his stupidity makes Koga physically sick.

Leon, the fuck, ignores Koga’s fully justified protests and hops on the bed, stepps on Koga’s legs, and worms under the cover right between them. Koga sighs and moves to make space, or at least as much of it as it’s possible on this bed, and Leon trots softly closer, performs a traditional corgian ballet with an impossible amount of spins and settles down, facing Koga. Senpai rolls to the other side slowly, that is with lots of shuffling and effort put into keeping the warmth he’s managed to accumulate, and smiles when Leon tilts his head back to check up on him.

“Good evening”, he says, voice all high and fake cutesy. Leon turns to lick his nose and as soon as he notices senpai’s hand, flops on his side and gets his white-pink belly rubbed the fuck of.

And that’s it re: thinking seriously about what has just happened.

Not like Koga wants to think. Seriously. He’s not some stupid chick that stands next to a dude in a train and already starts planning the wedding just in fucking case. Koga’s never understood that part, like when he helped a girl carry something in grade school and everyone was like hey, Oogami, you like her? And other girls were like wow, so he can be nice, maybe date him? And that stupid girl started blushing and staring at him, just like the fact that they were a dude and a girl existing in the same space meant they were obligated to snog. Dumb. The dumbest.

But anyway – he doesn’t care. That was a good handjob, that’s it. Of course like, he doesn’t have a lot of experience and he can’t fucking give points for the performance, but he came and so on. It was nice. Dudes and chicks senpai serviced before were lucky. That’s it. Nothing else. Senpai’s cock was nice too, touching it was an experience that taught him a lot. Etc. So on. Actually no Koga’s shaking and has no brain and wants– wants again, wants to fucking cuddle like a weak ass bitch and bury his face in senpai’s stupid neck and fuck. What the hell. This shit hurts. He’s pretty sure that if senpai’s leg as much as lightly touches his own, he’s going to literally explode and die. How do people do one night stands? They just fucked and he’s already wait is this fucking? Is this sex already? Is there a guide that isn’t Narukami? Shit, he’ll have to look it up, and oh damn. They’re both dudes and the thing when two dudes fuck – not that he has any experience but he’s read – oh shit. Oh fuck. _Ooooh fuck_.

He pushes this thought aside so hard that if it was an existing object, it would instantly shatter, but the truth is that he already _knows_ the answer, and it’s kinda terrifying.

_It’s to this extent_.

Senpai stops exchanging sweet kisses with Leon and looks up at Koga, eyes already tired but the curve of his lips still soft after smiling. It’s just a look, nothing more, but it feels as if Koga’s insides bubbled up like molten lava, or: as if he was suddenly electrocuted, or: had a whole huge pot of piping hot water thrown at him at full speed, or:

“Goodnight”, he barks and turns around decidedly. He pats his pillow, stretches his legs and sighs a bit to make it seem natural, but with each passing second he realizes more and more just how much of a dumbass senpai must think he is. Hurts. Why the fuck does it hurt? The curry wasn’t even spicy.

No, he actually _is_ a dumbass.

“Goodnight”, he hears, quiet voice snapping him out of his pointless thoughts so suddenly that he doesn’t know if it happened for real or if his brain tricked him. He wonders about it for a while, slightly panicking, before deciding that whichever it is, he can’t do anything to check it – you don’t fucking reply to a reply unless you want to goodnight each other into oblivion. That’s it. The convo’s over. (And now he wishes he could start it over.)

So he suffers in silence, eyes wide – his brain is dumb and sometimes it disappears whatsoever, but it shouldn’t be a weird thing fro senpai to just be like, polite – and thinks. About what senpai is doing now. Is he getting ready to sleep or sending Koga’s back a disgusted look? Is he whispering cutesy bullshit to Leon? Is he cold? Is his ear uncovered or covered by hair? Will he sleep? Maybe he really prefers a coffin. Maybe Koga really forced him to come and maybe he doesn’t want to be here at all. Or maybe not. Koga tries to think, gather evidence for both options, but all that’s in his head is white noise and lq closeups of various parts of senpai’s body.

He wakes up to his phone alarm clock set on murder mode, Leon licking his eye and a weight on his side.


End file.
